Q

Hi Guys
I've been on RHP for a couple of months without any success. I have message ladies and couples usually with no response. i am a good guy who is genuinely respectful, tidy and healthy with good looks.

Name of the user

Dating online is a little like fishing. You can’t just throw your line in and expect a fish to feel obliged to bite it.

You see, on a computer screen, like in a bar, you are just another strange face in the crowd, or pixel on the page. No matter how amazing you know you are as a person, there is what’s called the ‘familiarity gap’, that needs to be crossed before meaningful communication can begin.

Remember, online dating is not like ordering a new kettle from Amazon: you can’t just select what you want and expect it to turn up at the door.

So how do you cross the familiarity gap? Well, start by thinking of online dating more like hunting or fishing.
You need:

1)   Patience – You might need a lot of this.
2)   Bait – That means being the best you can be, great pix, great profile etc.
3)   Lure – That duck call that gets their attention – this comes from finding a way to non-confrontationally get their attention.
4)   Persistence – Are you willing to try different approaches until you find one that works for you?
The familiarity gap is a strange phenomenon. If a total stranger approaches you and says hi, it can be disconcerting. However, if that stranger makes even the slightest eye contact with you, the next time you see them your brain automatically sends a ‘familiar face’ signal and a ‘hi’ will seem perfectly normal: the firewall has come down and there is now an opportunity to make an impression.
So, the secret is you don’t have to get people’s full attention straight away. You just need to get slightly noticed, then have the patience to build on that. This can be done by:
•   Sending a few funny or chatty messages even if they don’t respond.
•   Commenting on something about them.
•   Adding comments to a chat conversation they are in.
•   Asking for their opinion.
•   Going to a Red Hot Pie function and actually saying “Hi, I recognise you from your profile”.

But the ultimate key is patience. Winston Churchill once said, “The true meaning of success is going from failure to failure without any loss of enthusiasm”. And let’s face it, he knew a thing or two about turning failure into success!

Comments

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  • alfredoforyou

    Been on RHP since few months and had great dates with couple and single lady. Very satisfy.

  • timmy754u

    Some good advice at least i have the Churchill approach and keep trying different things angles etc without telling crap

  • hellocutie533

    *without my husband, that should have read

  • hellocutie533

    There are a lot of people who are here to check it out rather than actually meet up, especially for couples. As to those trying to find a unicorn, I find it funny that they don’t seem to understand that if the the ‘unicorn ‘ is already in a relationship, why would they suddenly join your party? I find many just want to meet me without my, which is just not happening unless it’s the woman on her own. It’s not like ordering a kettle on Amazon as you say experts, yet some people seem to treat it that way. We all have feelings and preferences.

  • BiPlay69

    Patience, respect and behaving like a grown-up when you get rejected from someone you reach out to.
    Just like real life.
    Even though this site is focussed on sex, it doesn't mean that people don't have standards and personal preferences. Respect that.

  • Kentia

    We want more bisexual guys!

  • 71Camaro

    Maybe check ur profile. See if there’s something that would catch attention ! Good luck 😀

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