F56
Are men pussies when it comes to emotions?
September 19 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
He's just not that into you. (great book) I know from personal experience that when a guy decides that you're the one he will go after you like his last breath of air. He will walk over broken glass to get you, to commit. When it's right it's right and anything else is a nice time. Guys are smart, they aren't going to commit unless they are head over heals in love and lust and she's the right one.Women want something that he doesn't feel a lot of the time. Some are gun shy too from a bad experience/relationship/marriage. They are very emotional, very committment oriented.................as long as it's right. They quite often won't go into it until and unless it is right, the smart ones anyway. There's a difference between fun in the sheets and right. Girls do the same thing. He's lovely but he's not more than a fuck. Why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage? xxgoodgrls
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RHP User
14 years ago
Haven't we done this before? You know me, I'm happy to discuss the differences between the species until the cows come home, it fascinates me, but I really can't help but wonder how close you'll get to getting answers here. I know what you are asking though and it is an age old question. . However, I'll say from the outset of this thread that men and women are programmed differently. Our brains are very very different and operate on a different fuel mix. I believe the relationship game is all about finding a relationship/match/connection/whatever that makes the engine run well rather than splutter and not have all its components communicating properly because of a dodgy, incompatible fuel mix . I don't think all men are pussies when it comes to emotions at all. That wouldn't be a fair assumption to make. However, in short form, women get a chemical "brain reward" of sorts from discussing emotions. Men don't get that same reward. Our motivators are very different. Unfortunately, because of the way we are wired, we often make an assessment of our men based on the way they express or display their emotions, completely disregarding the fact that they have been hard-wired since birth to mask those emotions for survival. . I agree with the lovely good girl above me and whilst I could add much more, I will sit back and watch this thread with interest instead. . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes yes, but most guys have this on their profile and say straight off that they don't want anything more ... Before meeting you. I agree Goodgirls that for the right girl a guy will change his tune. But I am not talking about someone that you have met or gone out with and know that you aren't that into them, I just have the impression that no guy on RHP is interested in relationships at all and I am wondering why. Or is it simply that they here for free sex, or so the hope. Truthfully, why would I bother meeting most guys from RHP? I can go to a swingers club and get a bonk when ever I want without having to go through the whole rigmarole of getting to "know" someone when most guys only want it to be a one off or an occassional thing. Isn't it a waste of time? Not really explaining myself very well :(( And okay maybe I am being a bit cheeky with the emotional pussy stuff :p Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Flirty - yes okay I know that I occasionally indulge in the whole relationship girlie talks but I don't do it that often. Brain reward? Hmm ... At the end of the day we know it's because they aren't that into us so we ask girlfriends for reassurance that we are not wasting our time. Isn't that really what girls do? Or am I being to negative today?? Kisses Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
No, no honey, i wasnt' refering to anyone in particular. Just the male species as i understand it and you're doing a great job of explaining. I understand Human relationships are so bloody complicated. It's never easy or straight forward, I found the love of my life, the happiness of my soul but when we had our rough time it was still a living mother fucking hell and very nearly ended if it wasn't for my determination to stay with the son of a bitch this would be ova! Gawd honey, i don't have any answers, great question though Quoting 'Meeka100'Yes yes, but most guys have this on their profile and say straight off that they don't want anything more ... Before meeting you. I agree Goodgirls that for the right girl a guy will change his tune. But I am not talking about someone that you have met or gone out with and know that you aren't that into them, I just have the impression that no guy on RHP is interested in relationships at all and I am wondering why. Or is it simply that they here for free sex, or so the hope. Truthfully, why would I bother meeting most guys from RHP? I can go to a swingers club and get a bonk when ever I want without having to go through the whole rigmarole of getting to "know" someone when most guys only want it to be a one off or an occassional thing. Isn't it a waste of time? Not really explaining myself very well :(( And okay maybe I am being a bit cheeky with the emotional pussy stuff :p Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Yes yes, but most guys have this on their profile and say straight off that they don't want anything more ... Before meeting you. I agree Goodgirls that for the right girl a guy will change his tune. But I am not talking about someone that you have met or gone out with and know that you aren't that into them, I just have the impression that no guy on RHP is interested in relationships at all and I am wondering why. Or is it simply that they here for free sex, or so the hope. Truthfully, why would I bother meeting most guys from RHP? I can go to a swingers club and get a bonk when ever I want without having to go through the whole rigmarole of getting to "know" someone when most guys only want it to be a one off or an occassional thing. Isn't it a waste of time? Not really explaining myself very well :(( And okay maybe I am being a bit cheeky with the emotional pussy stuff :p Meeks Sorry, I should have made my comment a bit more specific to your question I suppose ... I'm not sure why guys do that ... maybe to hedge their bets? I far prefer the profiles of the men who say "this is what I'm looking for, this is what I'm not and this is what I might be open to". Anything less than direct tends to make me say "Next!" and move on. . I absolutely see your point though about the arsing around vs. hitting a swing club. Unfortunately, not everyone is a fan of the direct approach and surely there are a large number of tyre-kickers about the place. I tend to assume they're the ones who have made zero effort on the profile and used the template
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Flirty - yes okay I know that I occasionally indulge in the whole relationship girlie talks but I don't do it that often. Brain reward? Hmm ... At the end of the day we know it's because they aren't that into us so we ask girlfriends for reassurance that we are not wasting our time. Isn't that really what girls do? Or am I being to negative today?? Kisses Meeka Oh! I wasn't suggesting you have a tendency to indulge in touchy-feely girl talk, more that I could have sworn this topic had been raised before and got predictable responses. . And no, I disagree that "at the end of the day they aren't that into us" and I don't believe that that's what girls really do. Why headf*ck and ask a bunch of girls who don't even know the guy like you do to psychoanalyse him? I've never really understood this notion. Yes, my girlfriends and I have conversations like that, but they usually centre around psychoanalysing me and my behaviours in the relationship as this is where they are experts No, no, I'd far prefer to harass the poor guy in question and give him credit for knowing himself and communicating his own emotions. If nothing else, this improves honest and open communication between you and then you both benefit, even when they don't tell you what you want to hear. . And yes, I think that you are just being too negative today! . I'd still like to now just wait and see if you'll get an honest and assertive male to answer your questions ... Because nothing drives a man nuts more than a gaggle of women acting like we know them inside out and understand them better than they understand themselves LOL. . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Right up front, I'm in the "I don't want a committed relationship" camp, and here's my reasons:I need to be in the right head-space to even think about it, and with what I've dealt with over the last couple of years, I'm not. I'm still not totally settled from my big move, although it is happening, and I have to consider the effect another relationship would have on my kids. Being single, I'm finding that I'm able to achieve things that I've waited a very long time for, and I'm not prepared to risk anything stopping me now.As goodgrlzsayplz writes, I'm probably a bit gun-shy into the bargain.The down-side to all of this (for me) is that it can get incredibly lonely, and sometimes I feel as if I just can't be bothered anymore.As far as no strings attached...well, I'm not sure that that would suit me either. I think if I found myself in an FB or FWB situation, I'd be inclined to stick with a single partner.....so it wouldn't be totally NSA..Clear as mud?
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Letsgetcrazy09
14 years ago
Meeks, I could tell you the real real truth about males emotions........just one problem....... yup, I'm a male and they will excommunicate me if i do........lol Lets
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RHP User
14 years ago
i think most men are averse to emotional relationships with rhp girls because they think rhp girls are too much like men. men are notorious for being open to having sex with strangers (and lots of them), but they dont want their significant other to have the same proclivities. they want to believe that their girl is sexually unavailable to all other men. it goes a long way towards explaining why guys get so pissed off when their sexual advances towards girls on here are not met with immediate and enthusiastic acceptance. its a human trait for people to get annoyed when their expectations are not met. so, after several rejections, when a guy meets a girl from here, he assumes she must be the "woman with male sexual morals" that first attracted him to this site, and therefore doesnt see her as a prospective long-term partner. . theres no need for swingers to pipe up and tell me that they dont share this view. im speaking about MOST men.
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RHP User
14 years ago
They are great big dicks. (Just joking) Meeka they dont really mean it when they say they are not after a relationship at all. They just want to see how much shit you will take off them before they do commit. They wanna know how much free milk they can get before buying the cow. You dont buy a book when you can join a library do you? Not unless the book is spectacular and you want to re-read it many times until it becomes all soft, wrinkly and dog-eared with age and still you want to lovingly stroke its leathery outer cover remembering all the fun times you had together throughot the years. Yes a lot can be said for owning your own book (s) as sometimes the library is closed...and usually when you want that book the most (like late at night) Often we go to the library and a particular book becomes our favourite. We may borrow it again and again until we decide that we must have that book.....all to ourselves. Think of RHP as the library and the members are the books we may borrow some that just never get returned.......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Verbose thread girls the one male response, succinct, and that's what they do best I think LOL . I have however seen quite a few profiles lately Meeks, in which the boys have said they would be open to more if the right person came along........have also seen the ones you speak of, with the dozen or so mentions of 'no strings'...'not looking for a rel" etc etc It's those ones I can almost picture the guy sitting there writing his profile, crapping himself that some crazy rhp girl will attach herself to him "ooh better just add that ONE more time to make sure" Haha funny buggers and scaredy cats too
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RHP User
14 years ago
whatever it takes to make it as simple as possible to get from hello to naked. emotions generally just get in the way.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Very good answers every one... and littlewings unfortunately I kinda of agree with you on alot of your points. Hmm... so should I be telling the boys that I am still an almost virgin? I have been having a little fun of late and have been telling them that they are too vanilla for me. HAHAHAHA!! They get quite offend until I tell them some of the things I have been getting up to in the last 12 months. Well I have found it amusing anyway. But what does this mean ... that if I actually wanted a relationship with a dude I couldn't really tell him about RHP and what I have been up to?? xx Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Rcflyer, that is understandable and I know people have all sorts of legitimate reasons for not wanting to start anything at certain times in their life. I suppose that I gave up looking at profiles a long time ago but I can only recall one or two which state that if the right person came along they might be interested in something more. xx Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Rcflyer, that is understandable and I know people have all sorts of legitimate reasons for not wanting to start anything at certain times in their life. I suppose that I gave up looking at profiles a long time ago but I can only recall one or two which state that if the right person came along they might be interested in something more. xx Meeks behind someone saying they'd be open if the right person came along. I think we all are - the right person is the right person, after all, and I don't think it needs to be stated. I've said what I want for myself at this time in my life, but you never know when the right person is going to appear. In spite of any walls we may put up around ourselves, if the right person does appear in our life, I think most of us would find those walls breached in short order..
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RHP User
14 years ago
I may not be Charlotte but I certainly not Samantha either :p Xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Maybe guys that put up that they aren't looking for anything but unattached sex or chat just don't want to waste the time of those looking for a relationship? I mean wouldn't you rather look and see that it's not worth talking to those people then later find out that they just used you for sex and lied about looking for a relationship?
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RHP User
14 years ago
now THAT is a fucking hard question to answer. some guys couldnt live with that knowledge. others would think it was good that after having had a wide range of experiences, you wont be wondering what life would be like if you were more sexually liberated because you already know - and have decided that a life with them is what you now want. shit, the list could go on and on... so i'm gonna ask a rhetorical question. do you personally, need to tell a prospective partner about your sexual past? i myself have never felt it was necessary to tell a girl with whom i am in a serious relationship how many 3somes etc. i've had, and i've never felt the need to ask them to tell me about their sexual history. as long as you are making eachother happy "in the now", isnt that whats important? i'm not asking you for an answer, just suggesting you think over what ive said. you as a person are so much more than your sexual history, meeks, it need not limit your chances of finding happiness in a relationship.
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RHP User
14 years ago
did i imply that? surely not. not little ole me. i wish we all were. there would be a shitload less whining going on around here if that was the case.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You know I resent the implication that we are all sluts I may not be Charlotte but I certainly not Samantha either :p Xx Meeka Me too! . PS. I'd rather be Belle from SDOACG than any of the SITC ladies ... Wow! I bet that would make me really unlovable!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' , I just have the impression that no guy on RHP is interested in relationships at all and I am wondering why. Or is it simply that they here for free sex, or so the hope. Guys seem more happy with the ONE NIGHT STANDS, as its only a very small few who come back for seconds or thirds or more .. Truthfully, why would I bother meeting most guys from RHP? I can go to a swingers club and get a bonk when ever I want without having to go through the whole rigmarole of getting to "know" someone when most guys only want it to be a one off or an occassional thing. Meeks and Girls have it easier I think at a swingers club ,, easier than guys at getting a bonk .. because couples tend to want a girl more than a guy .. JMO
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RHP User
14 years ago
...that if you want to know what men think, ask and the women will tell you. Gentleman that I am....I won't go there. | What I have in my profile that is somewhat similar I guess is " I don't have velcro tabs nor balls of string in my pocket..." which I guess you could take in a number of ways...it does not shut a door on anything but rather leaves options open and hopefully saying that we could have fun and I am not prone to being a Klingon or Space Invader. Never have been never will...just who I am. There's also a couple of lines about the benefits of friends and perhaps the opportunity is there to explore friendship on many levels. | I don't think all men are categorically anything...and women certainly the same. There is also one other line in there... "You really never know who or what you are looking for until you find it..." and I can live with that. | Of course you could take those words as an absolute and interpret them as sometimes women do? If you want to go kite flying on a breezy afternoon...we are going to have to stop along the way and get some balls of string unless you have a few. The other part about the velcro tabs...maybe my age is showing but I am pretty handy with buttons and zippers and shoelaces too. Although...a few well placed velcro tabs on your cheerleaders outfit never go astray. Okay ladies...back to you... | ....and thanks for letting me get a few words in here too. | | Na na na na naaaaa na....Meeka wants a boyfriend. You are such a romantic!
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RHP User
14 years ago
CM one thing I have never been and that is a romantic!! Do I want a boyfriend ... Must have on the day I posted this question. LOL I think it is partly shyness and partly lazyness. I want a lot more sex but I am too lazy to make much of an effort hence a BF would make things easy for me. I really should just close my RHP account really because I am not making much use of it. Or maybe organize another drinks nights?? xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Here is the thing.. We come here because it is great open adult fun..all forms of play is encouraged , no judgements made..? or are they ..? it is only human when we have a taste of something we like , we then want more of the same , from the same cup.. but we have to remember in alot of our cases here , there have been alot of people drinking out of our cups !!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Meeks, maybe a FB instead of a BF? You can get together once a week or a couple of times a week (without pushing into each others lives too much), shag yourselves senseless and include the "sweet" stuff that new relationships are made of. Go out to dinner, flirt,come home and shag for hours, wake up and shag some more, have breakfast and go on your way. Nice
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RHP User
14 years ago
Maybe we are emotionally available but just typical overly-analytical males and some thing make us a bit skittery? | Quoting 'Taipan12' ...there have been alot of people drinking out of our cups !! | It would be nice if they at least put it through the dishwasher first. A cup with lips prints and maybe even a bit of lipstick on the rim, well....I ususally send that back and ask them to freshen it up a bit at the restaurant. Naaaa, I'll just get it to go... | ...and chuck the paper cup when I'm done. | | You don't want a boyfriend...you want a butler with benefits!
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RHP User
14 years ago
and CM.......it's not about you....is it lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
Straight up! I joined here a long time ago to to fuck off my guy at the time! Then I discovered the Forums LOVED IT In my RHP Time I have met a lot of great people at Melbourne DrinksHave had very Little Sexual EncountersThats not due to no interest Its me being fussy!Im not interested in one off randoms If I was I would want to get payed for it Im here to meet people I connect with!I can only be intimate with those Im attracted to& if there is something more it will present its selfFor me I have a High sex drive & need a partner that can cope with meI take no interest in Men that dont have an open mind to see where it may go why waste my time! If I have an Interest in spending time with someone trust me they will know so for me I look for more than random & have Fun along the Way! jensta xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
So littlewings, I shouldn't mention MMF threesomes, slip and slide tauplins, strapons and whips then?? Never? xx Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
if u meet someone who is podantic about their carpet, it might be worth mentioning the tarpaulin. oil soaks right through them. hehe.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'So littlewings, I shouldn't mention MMF threesomes, slip and slide tauplins, strapons and whips then?? Never? xx Meeks No, not never!! I normally hold that sort of stuff over until the second date.... oh hang on, except for the slip and slide tarpaulins - that's first date stuff. Definitely!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
...and I would never go to a coffee shop where the barista would even take my order for chrissake. | Quoting 'inspirit' and CM.......it's not about you....is it ? | You know...I don't want to join any club that would ask me to become a member. | I do have some class you know......
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree Meeks, men need to be more upfront about what they are looking for, I think its not that we are pussies, we want to test the water first, I am one who lets my emotions show from the start, but thats me, I would be open to a relationship and would let the person know in the first few messages, but for men on this site we are the minority, and yes you should mention all the 3-ways strapons and all that upfront, that will sort out the pussies from the men, I am starting to think I should move to Sydney cheers David
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RHP User
14 years ago
but I've been told I approach sexual relations like one. :DIt's just a matter of what your first priority is and for me that's freedom to enjoy myself. If something more snuck up on me from behind and tried to take me down I wouldn't necessarily punch it in the face but I'm not going to dedicate any effort to standing around waiting for it, or worse, actively seeking it. What a waste of potential happy free fun time!xx Sarah
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RHP User
14 years ago
As for sexual history Littlewings, I am not going to tell a guy about how many threesomes I have had or how many guys or girls I have been with or who I have been with, etc. Just as I wouldn't ask them either. However, having said that, I would tell them about stuff I have done in more general terms because to be honest. I like doing them, I want to keep on doing them and if they don't like it well they are not the person for me anyway. And yes, I like hearing about their sexual escapades aswell. I like sex stories : ) xx Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Don't worry Curiousnewgirl, I am not sitting at home waiting for Mr Right ... Although I would love to have more sex with Mr Wrong xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Goodgirlssayplz - you know what I really really want. About three FWBs I reckon and maybe throw in a naughty girl or two on occassion. I think that might do me. xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sounds just about perfect to me Meeksy. xxgoodgrlz (self confessed greedy gal) Quoting 'Meeka100' Goodgirlssayplz - you know what I really really want. About three FWBs I reckon and maybe throw in a naughty girl or two on occassion. I think that might do me. xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' As for sexual history Littlewings, I am not going to tell a guy about how many threesomes I have had or how many guys or girls I have been with or who I have been with, etc. Just as I wouldn't ask them either. However, having said that, I would tell them about stuff I have done in more general terms because to be honest. I like doing them, I want to keep on doing them and if they don't like it well they are not the person for me anyway. And yes, I like hearing about their sexual escapades aswell. I like sex stories : ) xx Meeksmy judgement was seriously flawed, and i'm glad we had this little chat cos i think u've made me a bit wiser. ur a wonderful lady, meeks, smart, cute and sexy and utterly deserving of anything that you want. its for these reasons that i wish you well, and really just want to see you happy and fulfilled. kisses.
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RHP User
14 years ago
For me I would love to meet a woman on rhp willing to look at long term , someone interested in the life style on here , someone willing to explore fantasies and have fun with only one rule , do it together , this site is full of cheaters , why not do it as one , no secrets , any way main point is a relationship from a woman on rhp is a definate want for me.. oraldlite
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RHP User
14 years ago
for me, you dont choose to have a relationship or god forbid, fall in love, it happens genuinely or not so cant be ruled in or out, you dont have a choice for the real deal. my own case in point, i recently had to tell my best friend how i really feel about her, ie more than as just a friend,unfortunately, she lives on the other side of the world and she said that if we lived closer together and saw each other regularly it would probably happen, but we dont, so it wont, but that doesn't change the emotions involved. from a tex perkins song, "you can't change love with geography"
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think you're finally on a winner, Meeka... | Quoting 'Meeka100' I think that might do me. Just a question though if I may? Which one of these would you most likely end up becoming romantically entwined with and commit...you know, actually let the real you shine through? | Actually, could one actually become Mr. or Mrs. Meeka, right? | Just sayin'...and best wishes no matter what!
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RHP User
14 years ago
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.' God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside,what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help,and how I can make a woman truly happy. God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ok, "some" men are emotional pussies, as are some women. It depends entirely on their emotional health/maturity and position, and their ability to communicate that up front. What I have personally experienced is that most of the women i've met on here are just as averse to any emotional commitment as some of the men are. Sometimes thats a defence mechanism resulting from a previous bad relationship and they're just getting back on the horse so to speak, other times its because they truly don't want any kind of relationship for whatever personal reasons they have. Others are attached and either a) cheating, or b) quite openly having something on the side. Again, whatever blows your skirt up, I dont' care. I also find that (again in my personal experience) a lot of women on here (no not all, but a lot or some) want no emotional connection at all. Its purely about them and their needs. Thats great, go get it I say, just be honest about where you're at up front so no one gets hurt. that aspect I find is where it sometimes falls over. Not always, but sometimes. I've also encountered quite a few over the years who will say they just want one playmate, but in truth are chatting to many and sleeping with many, so I know I personally am not prepared to emotionally commit to anyone from this site until I know where they're at, which again is why I personally state up front what I want, why I want it, and what I'm open to. Already made that mistake once, not doing it again. Its easy to get jaded and a very recent experience I had leaves me a bit that way with one gal who I met indicated I wasn't for her (all good no issue there) and then said "I just can't be with anyone like that at the moment" yet is online nearly every day looking and chatting... Hmmm...actions vs words? congruence? Nil. I think many of us, men and women, have experienced that. Thus, non commitment is offered or implied until every one knows where they're at and what they're dealing with. I think we also need to put it in context - this is a sex/swingers site, not RSVP or POF or whatever more 'traditional' dating site you want to name (which personally I find are full of more BS than here, at least here people are open about wanting to fuck around). People come here for a purpose, to fuck or perve or hook up or whatever it is. Finding 'the one' seems to be low on the priority list and not what the focus is. Can/Should/Will it happen still? Sure, the dynamic has changed and waiting for sex until a 'relationship' is formed is a thing of the past (so say the sociologists apparently, so hooking up first and then forming a relationship is all good! yay!). are ALL men emotional pussies? No, and that's liek saying all men are bastards or all women are gold diggers. Rash generalisation and in no way accurate. Some are, so are some women. Its an individual trait, not a gender specific one.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thank you for the well wishes but I would like to point out that I never said I wanted a boyfriend particularly and certainly not a Mr Meeka. Haha Although, do you think that NSA flings are the modern relationship these days or do people still do the whole boyfriend / girlfriend thing? xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Look at the age for both male and female stating No Strings Attached. 40ish common. Most have come out of long term relationships / marriage, perhaps wanting to re-discover themselves as an individual, rather than an extention of someone else. Perhaps the bigger issue is the mixed family complications. Men not wanting to get involved in someone else's family, women reluctant to involve men in the lives of their children. "NSA" more a result of modern family, rather than reluctance to commit or share emotions.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Now most of you that do remember my nickname will know that I've been on this site longer then dinosaurs roamed the earth, maybe just perhaps it's a template profile ? Not sure as it was a long time ago my profile was made, the only half recent thing is my picture. I also think it's a self defence mechanism. No I just want no strings attached, as has been said previously above, when it happens it happens. We do not however much we like to believe control who we fall for, it just happens. This no strings, load of shit imo.
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RHP User
14 years ago
the point is, these sort of talks puts all men into a category based on your individual experience in given situations. I have found women to be on occasion more emotionally closed off than women. If someone you know isn't talking to you and you want them to (which I think this whole post was clearly about one person and then you throw this over the top comment about all men-kind out there) try a different approach. But seriously if you want to generalise about men, be upfront and dont bullshit around the bush. I dont know a single straight guy that would say he didnt want to hear the upfront truth about something, emotional or otherwise.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yea that is true Jas, although I find alot of people in their 30's also state the they only want NSA fun. xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thank you meeka for a great topic.In my honest opinion I think a lot has to do with men being scared little boys. Fear of opening themselves up to opportunities of a relationship. Fear of letting go to the past or fear of losing what they have if it goes sour. I know a lot of mates who have trouble with the concept of getting back into a relationship after a marriage split or whatever. This emotional scar tissue holds them back from happiness.Sure a fuck here and a fuck there with randoms feeds the physical needs, but is it only a band-aid to a deeper psychological issue.Fuck I was married, lost everything, so what. No-one can take away one's ability to continue on with life. Holding back on the beautiful possibilities that a relationship (perhaps starting out as just a physical thing) is really sad. Study quantum physics and it's love that binds existence. I understand that is a sex site and a great one at that, but I encourage all to be open to love, deep down everyone wants to be loved and deserves to be loved.Peace
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RHP User
14 years ago
Very interesting comparison to comments on a topic under "Girls Ask" titled - "Where have all the ..." , the next comment being, "the big boys gone" . Similar issues, yet from a different perspective. In general - why men don't just come out and say what they want. Many of the comments supported a view that men are confused and unsure whether women are wanting men to be cavemen clubbing the woman over the head to drag her away, or the sensitive, caring, listening, understanding etc etc. Questions about is it possible to be both. Personally my last comment was that it takes courage for a man to show their true emotional side. Part of that courage being how they will be judge by the woman. If you get time, glance down the comments, a few answers to your current topic. Your topic also had me thinking about many women commenting in chat, that they are here just using men for sex. Hmmm, can you actually 'use' a man for sex. For me, I've been burnt a few times on this site by discussing my emotions, responses being, don't want this in my life. But with some good advise in these forums, I kept searching, being myself and ended up finding a wonderful woman loving me for who I am, and having a great time sexually as well. I guess you could say boyfriend / girlfriend. Pussies, yep at first because of reaction from women. Have a quick glance at that other topic, you might find it interesting. As others have mentioned, great topic, and I'm continuing to find some great advise in these forums. Thanks Meeka.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sxyalfa - interesting post, and yes "some" men are like that. There are lots of boys hiding in mens bodies around the place, as there also lots of little girls hiding in women's bodies.. its always an individual situation rather than an entire gender or broad brush approach. Interesting thing to note too.. Men are by nature linear. We're hunters, we go in straight lines to get to the point, same as when we hunt, we're at the tip of the spear so to speak. Very much like the binary "1" which is again phallic. Women by their nature are more circumspect, the go around the point rather than straight to it, rather like the 'gatherer', they'l talk around a point rather than get to it.. generally speaking, rather like the binary "0" which depending on your perspective could be chevron like or ovarian perhaps.. hmmm.. is it all about 1's into 0's? We've all been hurt, one way or another, its how we choose to deal with it and recover. Love and relationships are risk based activities, its how and whether we take these risks, and our confidence in recovering swiftly that will determine if we get into them again or not... too many spend time on analysis of 'why', when in many cases, you just don't need to know why, you just need to accept and let it go and get out of your own way..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'oraldlite' For me I would love to meet a woman on rhp willing to look at long term , someone interested in the life style on here , someone willing to explore fantasies and have fun with only one rule , do it together , this site is full of cheaters , why not do it as one , no secrets , any way main point is a relationship from a woman on rhp is a definate want for me.. oraldlite I don't know if I would agree with this statement - we are not all cheaters here. xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'WestJoshy' ..which I think this whole post was clearly about one person and then you throw this over the top comment about all men-kind out there) try a different approach. But seriously if you want to generalise about men, be upfront and dont bullshit around the bush. I dont know a single straight guy that would say he didnt want to hear the upfront truth about something, emotional or otherwise. Hey wetjosh, I will forgive you since you don't know me... but I will say this was definitely not directed at any one person or situation. Just a general observation from the profiles I have read since joining RHP. If you knew me you would know that I always try to be upfront and I never bullshit - EVER. If anything I might be a little too direct? And I am not into mind games at all which quite frankly is one of the reasons why I am on a sex site and not on a regular dating site. Gawd, someone back me up here. xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Brisguy, I find that women are more willing to take the emotional risk and are on the whole stronger when it comes to the whole emotions game. Although I fully admit I might be biased on this point as I haven't really discussed this with many men.Not sure if I like the comment we all talk in circles. hahaha. Do we??xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'brisguy69007' Interesting thing to note too.. Men are by nature linear. We're hunters, we go in straight lines to get to the point, same as when we hunt, we're at the tip of the spear so to speak. Very much like the binary "1" which is again phallic. Women by their nature are more circumspect, the go around the point rather than straight to it, rather like the 'gatherer', they'l talk around a point rather than get to it.. generally speaking, rather like the binary "0" which depending on your perspective could be chevron like or ovarian perhaps.. hmmm.. is it all about 1's into 0's? I have thought this for many years. Men, when faced with a problem, go directly to the source of the problem ignoring anything else in the way where as women will think around all the side issues first. When a man goes shopping, he (generally) will go to the shop and buy what he wants...a woman will shop around a bit and find the best deals. Men think in straight lines, women think in circles. (generalisations only folks...one size does not fit all)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes men are very simple aren't they. M
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RHP User
14 years ago
Woman Love it .........Pussy Whipped If the Sex is Hot there going to Do right by Woman I love A hot Buffed tough guy Thats Pussy Whipped ...................... lmfao xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'oraldlite' For me I would love to meet a woman on rhp willing to look at long term , someone interested in the life style on here , someone willing to explore fantasies and have fun with only one rule , do it together , this site is full of cheaters , why not do it as one , no secrets , any way main point is a relationship from a woman on rhp is a definate want for me.. oraldlite I don't know if I would agree with this statement - we are not all cheaters here. xxMeeka He said that the site was FULL of cheaters .. but HOW FULL IS FULL .. and how much is overflow ... its those of us that are in the overflow that are NOT the cheaters .. we are the ones who are honest .. and looking ..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi girls and guys... gee if I had a dollar for everytime I politely reminded someone on RHP that this is a meet and bonk site not a serious relationship matching site....well you get the idea! Casual sex to be good (any sex actually) it need to have an emotional content. Most guys need to learn that and usually do as they get older. But a loser is a loser, naked or not. Plenty of woman out there have intamicy issue for what ever reason as well. And....folk seem to collect a lot of hurt baggage often which they let shut them down emotionally. My two cents......cheers x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi girls and guys... gee if I had a dollar for everytime I politely reminded someone on RHP that this is a meet and bonk site not a serious relationship matching site....well you get the idea! Casual sex to be good (any sex actually) it need to have an emotional content. Most guys need to learn that and usually do as they get older. But a loser is a loser, naked or not. Plenty of woman out there have intamicy issue for what ever reason as well. And....folk seem to collect a lot of hurt baggage often which they let shut them down emotionally. My two cents......cheers x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' If you knew me you would know that I always try to be upfront and I never bullshit - EVER. If anything I might be a little too direct? And I am not into mind games at all which quite frankly is one of the reasons why I am on a sex site and not on a regular dating site. Gawd, someone back me up here. xxMeeka I hereby back Meeks up. I'm far safer behind her anyway!! . Just thought I'd stop in and commend sxyalfa and brisguy on their comments. Very interesting and open-minded contributions. . I like a lot of the replies here and so have no choice but to retract my original comment that this thread would only generate more of the same by way of generalised replies and mud-slinging. . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'. Just thought I'd stop in and commend sxyalfa and brisguy on their comments. Very interesting and open-minded contributions. . I like a lot of the replies here and so have no choice but to retract my original comment that this thread would only generate more of the same by way of generalised replies and mud-slinging. . Flirty x Have you noticed that no couples have commented on this thread. Hence no mud slinging. xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Some men are pussies some men are not when it comes to relationships and emotions...just like some women. We are all different. Keep looking and you will eventually find what you seek :) good luck out there it can be a bit rough sometimes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes, tell them what they want to hear and take what you want, it's the only way to deal with them in business or in bed. All men all want to believe they are the "first", "biggest", "best" (you get my drift) - that never changes their, irrespective of how old or experienced you might be and how obviously not true it is. Remember you are dealing with ego, not logic or emotion so it doesn't have to make sense.I think there are some men who never come to terms with their emotions/inner life/call it what you will. Men settle down when their light goes on - does not mean they are any more clear on their emotions or needs, just that a switch has been flicked and it's the next thing to do. Unfortunately, for many, about 5 or 10 years later they will divorce or live unhappily for the rest of their lives...poor things....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Can't speak for the other guys but I have been burnt real bad and not just once. So I am trying the dating sites and being honest and straight up about it but if it were to become more and it felt right then I would be more than happy to continue it. I think it's more what everyone is comfortable with at the present time.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Using statements like "all men are all here for xyz" or should all be treated in a certain fashion is both inaccurate (think me saying all women are gold digging liars... true for some, not for all right?) and in my personal opinion suggests some bitterness or bad experiences have been had. We've all had them, and both men adn women are equally 'pussies' when it comes to emotions. Where we differ is how we express or feel them, and in both gender cases, that only counts if in fact we're in touch with them. From a male's perspective i've met just as many damaged women out there with severe emotional problems ranging from stalking (had a great one off this site a girl i'd never met stalkin me on txt and abusive crap) through to Borderline and Narcisstic Personality Disorder (those are the ones where its always someone else fault, they're utterly incapable of accept responsibility for their own contributions to situations, totally detached from their emotions and completely untrustworthy, its all about them!). they too are "not open to a relationship just want NSA fun) so its not a purely male characteristic. Treat each situation differently, assuming everyone's the same will only bring to you the same type of person and you'll keep getting the same results, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting monicab2011All men all want to believe they are the "first", "biggest", "best" (you get my drift) - that never changes their, irrespective of how old or experienced you might be and how obviously not true it is I think there are some men who never come to terms with their emotions/inner life/call it what you will. Men settle down when their light goes on - does not mean they are any more clear on their emotions or needs, just that a switch has been flicked and it's the next thing to do. Unfortunately, for many, about 5 or 10 years later they will divorce or live unhappily for the rest of their lives...poor things....You base that on what? Your own experience? Why "all men"? Irrespective of how many partners you've had, the reality is that you've been exposed to but a tiny percentage of the male population on the planet. It's kinda like me saying that because I've been burnt by 1/3,000,000,000 of the world's population (give or take) all women are cheating, lying, alcoholic, irresponsible harpies. I know that not to be the case.....only 1/3,000,000,000 (give or take) of them are.Couldn't care less if I'm first, last, biggest, smallest, best or worst. What matters is that I'm the one at that time. I am perfectly in tune with my emotions and needs, thanks very much, and I'll settle when I find someone who meets my standards. As for being unhappily divorced, couldn't be further from the truth. I'm loving my life now.But thanks for caring.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi there,It depends on the guy some guys like to show it some guys love to hide it,Honestly i cant see a problem showing someone you are with how you feel about them, there not going to know unless you tell them or show them.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Qutoing deepestblue; Hi girls and guys... gee if I had a dollar for everytime I politely reminded someone on RHP that this is a meet and bonk site not a serious relationship matching site....well you get the idea!Gee if I had a dollar for every time a woman has politely said - I don't give a fuck and I know this is an adult sex site. Duh!! Get over this point already. Does this mean you can't meet someone on here? FFS! xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
You hit the nail right on the head ...I'll say from the outset of this thread that men and women are programmed differently. Our brains are very very different and operate on a different fuel mix...Exactly - how many women judge men based on the way that _women_ think, and can't accept that as men we do think and feel differently about love and sex to the way women do.I don't think all men are pussies when it comes to emotions at all. That wouldn't be a fair assumption to make.......Unfortunately, because of the way we are wired, we often make an assessment of our men based on the way they express or display their emotions, completely disregarding the fact that they have been hard-wired since birth to mask those emotions for survival.YOU GO GIRL, FINALLY A (Flirty) FEMALE has actually made the effort to bridge the gap and try to see it from a man's point of view without getting judgemental!Kudos also to GoodGirl for saying: "Guys are smart, they aren't going to commit unless they are head over heals in love and lust and she's the right one."Finally to Meeka herself, certainly a good question to put up on here, did you know that I've seen plenty of FEMALE profiles that say words along the line of "If you're looking for more than a FWB relationship keep moving!", so don't think guys are the only ones doing this. But at the end of the day wouldn't you rather someone let you know the score right off the bat rather than mucking you around and leading you on to think there might be more when there really wasn't?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi Meeka, Personally I think its about likelihood. That is, to answer your question, is it possible it can happen here? (meeting someone for 'more') Sure. ANYTHING is possible theoretically. Realistically, the likelihood of that occuring on RHP as opposed to say, RSVP or POF or whatever other more 'traditional' dating sites are out there, is lower. Again its just a personal opinion, but I tend to think RHP and similar sites attract people at a certain place in their lives, I won't say a certain type because people are capable of change, but from what I can see, whether its accurate or not, most people who come here are not in a relationship headspace for whatever reason, past trauma, recent breakup, lifestyle choice or whatever it is, or they're already part of a couple who want a third or some other experience. They're here for a purpose, sex. Thats the primary driver. Its not finding love or a lifetime partner. Without assuming its accurate, I think many are similar to me in that we use RHP because in essence a lot of the BS is removed. We're all here for sex, no drinks required. We can display our kinks and desires openly with less fear of judgement or condemnation than in other arenas, and so we look for similar minded people to share that with. Its an assumption made when joining up and creating a profile on a sex site, as opposed to a dating site. The intent is different as is the expected outcome and behaviours that accompany that. So, is it possible? Sure. Two like minded people may well find love here. Is it likely? My opinion is Less so here than in other places because of the frequency of those who are in a relationship space appearing here as opposed to those other sites..more a needle in a haystack scenario than a one in ten chance kind of thing ..... Generalisation yes, assumption, sure, but I believe my observations of RHP and similar sites to be reasonable if nothing else :) Youre a hottie anyway Meeks, why come to RHP to find luuuurve Surely there are better places to look!
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RHP User
14 years ago
wonder why few couples commented here? we are in relationships, so to talk and offer up opinion here may be a little too challenging or revealing . for myself......if i met a woman and she gave to me freely what i really should be working for...ie, bedded me with no real thought or effort involved, i couldnt help but to then question....how many times this had happened before? not that i would want to know the answer....but the question would hang there.....and it would temper any thought of emotional attachment with doubt. is just who i am. as a guy who appreciates the romance of a relationship, i would feel short changed if it was served up on a 'platter'............( i had a profile here as a single, some years ago, when on my own and looking.........and experienced this time and time again....the feeling that it was 'contrived' pushed any thought of emotional investment from my mind)......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Emotion = "E"-motion, or 'Energy in motion' and being we are made up of 'Matter' and 'Energy', when someone says "What's the matter with you?"..... They couldn't be closer to the truth. . Interaction without emotion is perhaps like watching someone dance with no music playing. . For some, emotion, romance and feelings rhyme exactly with the word commitment... . Put some more icing on your mud cake. You still got mud cake regardless. Now throw it at a random partnership for effect.
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RHP User
14 years ago
its because we are worried that the girls on here are just wanting sex and if we rite what we really feel about being held at night just as much as a women, they will not be interrested. iv just come out of a 15 year old relationship, does that turn you on, i just need somebody to love every day and that wants me everyday
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