M46 F46

Friendship as well as playmates.

August 20 2014

I ran across a topic the other day, now I can't find so thought I would ask something similar. I will admit to being a slightly social individual, and understand everyone is different. But I find it surprising most couples are scared to let friendship develop out of playmates. We have developed ongoing friendships with just a couple over the years and all is great, we are all normal people with families so if course everything is perfectly vanilla when not alone. To everyone outside that, no one is the wiser, we are just perfectly normal friends. But most people I speak to run for the hills at the thought. Are they worried their lifestyle would be blurted out? (Even though this would require the other couple to be sharing their own secret) is it a fear that the friendship may become more and endanger the couple? For us, we figure like minded people, friendly couple, similar lives and interests (not just play factor, we have often found couples who do same sports or interests) everyone has the same requirement to keep the normal world vanilla. Why not develop a friendship?

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RHP User

11 years ago

some people may feel that if things go pear shaped that they will lose that friendship so easier to keep things business.

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RHP User

11 years ago

Yes we have 5 amazing couples we met in the scene! We meet for lunch , dinner , and to party, we see them probably ever second week . We have all met each others families and vanilla friends! It is wonderful! However with single people we do not encourage or want friendships! We are both very passionate about our marriage and our family, so we do what we can to minimise the risk of impact to that . This includes "feelings" :) we have had two dodgy experiences with singles ( my husband is a great guy with a comfortable lifestyle ) both women actually , they both ending up wanting a little more than just sex . We love the people we meet in this scene , open, friendly , little left of field , we love the sex and what it brings to our relationship , we just want to stay married :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

We agree with cpls yeh sure friendship works really well but with singles it can ( and does) cause some issues - Posted from rhpmobile

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Paradisepair

11 years ago

Maybe it's an age thing, we're not short of vanilla friends so I don't think it's because we're not good company. I'm finding our vanilla friends only occasionally create social events. We recently had a dinner party where we mixed the 2 worlds, with some trusted playmates and some muggles. We've been to some of their vanilla gatherings too. We really aspire to developing a circle of friends from the scene but we travel a lot and geographically live quite a distance from everyone we've played with. I think this is the biggest hindrance for us as playmates know we can't just pop over. I'm positive that if we lived closer and could host things would be different.,Funnily enough we've made some really strong connections with people who live 1000's of km away. That really sucks, but they've made it onto our real life facebook...

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RHP User

11 years ago

Clearly we are much to dangerous to have as friends. I better tell all of my friends in relationships never to speak to me again. Pretty much the reason I have absolutely no interest in meeting couples these days, nothing like being made feel like a piece of meat not worth treating as a friend. - Posted from rhpmobile

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QLDtwo4fun

11 years ago

We have two couples where play has lead to ongoing friendship. We all live near each other and meet pretty regularly for dinner, more and more they are becoming part of our non scene lives. There is a certain trust and openness with swinging friends that you don't have with vanilla friends. Would anyone want a vanilla friend reading their text messages, unlikely. With swinging friends there seem to be less to be secret.

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RHP User

11 years ago

We have single friends of course! We just don't want to encourage an ongoing relationship with single people we meet,party and have sex with ! There is a difference...... - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

From my experience.... As a couple, we made friends with a single white female on this site...(the ONE & ONLY time..!! We treated her with respect, kindness & generosity - including hone cooked meals, wine, & seduction. This is a decision I regret.... She wanted my handsome Latin lover, & used endless rawnchy texts, pics etc to win him..!! It worked - She won, I lost.. In the end....if its gonna happen on site, can just as easily happen in 'the real world'... And I most certainly have not lost tall rust in all Rhp woman,. Most would know the score, & respect boundaries... Fact is, if u play with fire, yr liable to get burnt... - Posted from rhpmobile

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Lovinit28andKC72

11 years ago

They're just gorgeous, through that we have become friends, they have shown me things, taught me things, we catch up for drinks and chats. I would never cross the line with either of them, I respect them, their marriage and our friendship way to much.......I actually like to have some kind of connection with who play with...💋

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RHP User

11 years ago

Seems you guys got it right. When I read your posts I found myself agreeing with the way you approach things. I think it takes some sorting out and once your comfortable with each other, you can then accept others into your world without too much hassle . Thumbs up guys..

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JessicaRabbit

11 years ago

Quoting 'DeliciousCurves'However with single people we do not encourage or want friendships! We are both very passionate about our marriage and our family, so we do what we can to minimise the risk of impact to that . This includes "feelings" :) we have had two dodgy experiences with singles ( my husband is a great guy with a comfortable lifestyle ) both women actually , they both ending up wanting a little more than just sex . You won't cultvate friendships with singles because all of us are so desperate for a relationship we will try to steal yours? I find that just a teeeensy bit offensive. But of course, you're entitled to your opinion, as am I. My opinion on this is that I've made some great friends through the scene (both couples AND singles) and wouldn't interact with people that made me feel like I was just a toy to be played with then put back in a box when they'd finished with me. That is not respecting me as a person.Seems many couples are quick to judge all singles based on one or two bad experiences. I've met a few couples that were absolute so-and-so's, does that mean I should tar all couples with the same brush?I'm single by choice. All couples out there, trust me when I say that I do NOT want to steal your husbands. Your wives on the other hand... OP I totally agree, why not make friends? Some of the people that i've met through RHP I class as some of my nearest and dearest. Jess x

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RHP User

11 years ago

By the responses of the couples ???? Over the last 6 months we have started to let some of our playmates into our vanilla life, this includes at the moment just 1 couple and 4 singles............ Funnily enough, the single girls become such good friends that one of them just feels weird playing with hubby (I'm the lucky one) lol.......... We've had the children altogether, done movie nights and even vanilla sleep overs........... My FWB is a regular in our household, where the children even ask if he can come over :)))). Hey, we are even planning a getaway together......

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Hottie1

11 years ago

Will determine our responses. It is fair and reasonable that Delicious and Spanglishfun feel the way they do, in their experience it hasn't been positive. In my personal opinion, I want want Delicious and bigmamma have for themselves already, I want the singles and couples that we have met through the scene in my vanilla life. Like paradise pair we are finding it hard to make that happen, I'm often driving over 1 1/2 hours for plays, but sooooo worth it :) Most of all though, I want both couples and singles to be exactly like Lovinit28, because respect and friendship is not just a couples thing, it is a singles thing as well. If things were to go pear shaped, your relationship status isn't a determiner, it's what people bring or do that impacts friendships. Just my humble thoughts Mary xx

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RHP User

11 years ago

My fwbs from here some of them the friendships have become so strong that the benefits aren't happening anymore just because I value the friendship so much I don't want to mess it up in anyway. Other fwbs the sex is just a very fun addition to a beautiful friendship which I know I'll treasure for a long time to come. It's friendship first for me- 🎀 Xxviolet

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RHP User

11 years ago

You are lucky but you must appreciate how unusual your situation is. You have managed to surround yourself with people that have the same go lucky attitude......but your position might change if either you or hubby fell in love with someone else. Or if one of your playmates fell in love with one of you and didn't want bow out gracefully. You should be aware of potential pitfalls of what you are doing too. Especially inviting them into your home and introducing them to your kids. Not saying it is a bad thing, but it is all smiles until something goes wrong.

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RHP User

11 years ago

Actually I know of one couple who invited their single gal pal and her children to live with them. I believe it worked for quite awhile.

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RHP User

11 years ago

We definitely need to 'click' socially with people we play with but further to that we do enjoy platonic friendships with play friends...A couple of main reasons,We enjoy the flirty moments, the sneaky looks etc..It makes the sex more enjoyable.. sensuous.Less hunting and more shooting, so to speak.

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JohnAnn2227

11 years ago

We are similar to Deliciouscurves in that we have a group of friends that we have met through swinging. We meet regularly (every fortnight at least and not always as a whole group) for BBQs lunch etc. Our kids are friends, the hubbies go to the cricket, footy etc together and then we also all play together.We have even made friends with some of their "vanilla" friends. No-one knows that we swing together. The only thing we had to work out was a consistent story as to how we met and became friends. A few of us girls met at the gym has been the easiest answer for us.We feel that being such close friends actually adds to our swinging experiences with them all. One of the couples have moved to the US for work and we have been over to visit them. Swinging, in our opinion, can definitely involve friendship as well.

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RHP User

11 years ago

I do stipulate to my FBs and FWBs that if hubby at any point is unhappy about our relationship, then is has to finish completely and the same goes with hubbies FBs etc......... We also talk after each play and are very honest about our emotions etc......... It's not always as easy as is written, there is behind the scene care :). However, we both feel our lives have become fuller and richer through knowing them...

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Friendship as well as playmates.

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