M48
Guy after females, could you share your stats re messaging?
December 24 2020
Comments
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teamaj2
5 years ago
Good afternoon I understand your frustration. It’s a ‘slow burn ‘ on RHP especially for single men . It’s refreshing to read that you send more than a one or two word message tailored to a particular profile . I can only speak on behalf of us , of course . We appreciate time and effort people put into messaging us . Like most , we are time poor . This time of year , a lot of people are burnt out after what’s been an uncertain , perhaps stressful year. A lot are caught up with real life , family , work, sickness , stress etc etc Yes , they are on RHP. Just because they have a profile here doesn’t mean 24/7 , 7 days a week people have the time or energy to respond or even look at Rhp . We often get messages from people we have been chatting to saying - ‘aren’t you speaking today ?’ It’s often not our number one priority. Wouldn’t life be fun if it was ? I suggest being patient , mindful that perhaps you will have to wait for a response ( if one comes at all ) . No one is duty bound to reply . As has been brought up on forums over and over we all beat to a different drum . Good luck . Ax
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FeistyFatty
5 years ago
I couldn't read past the fact you've sent SEVENTY (70) Messages in 5 days😳😳😳. Talk about scatterbombing🤯🤯
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SpicyKale
5 years ago
Jeez 70, that sounds more like a denial of service attack! Maybe be a bit more selective and put more effort into fewer messages.🤷🏻♂️ What you're seeing probably reflects what other single guys report on here, you'll do well to get one or two replies out of that and there's a chance they'll be a thanks but no thanks. A lot on here just aren't looking for guys and a lot of us that are prefer to do our own hunting. Your definition of a polite message might not be the same as the recipient and they might have received ten the same that day. In short, you're probably expecting a bit much. Good luck!
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RHP User
5 years ago
So many reasons....firstly there's no point at all messaging if you're not mutual matches (assuming by that you mean they fit your basic criteria and you fit theirs). No point. Not sure what you mean by tailored messages, if this means just changing the name for each then it doesn't show you've read their profiles. Have you read their profiles?? After this, have you indicated that you have read their profiles in your tailored messages? I can't imagine that you have found 70 women in a week whose profiles and criteria seem to match your own to be honest. And your idea of polite... well Ive had guys first messages talking about eating P***y and how big their dicks are etc, that's not everyone's idea of polite but seems perfectly acceptable to many men here. Also while you state you're in an open relationship you haven't included "attached" as your relationship status. It would also help if you indicate matches can confirm that it's an open relationship as most profiles on here do and most people would want to contact your partner to confirm this. Even so, a lot of women might only be looking for a single male. And yes it's Christmas and most people have other priorities right now, I think you are expecting too much too quickly. You'd have better luck putting more effort into great messages with people who are great matches instead of the bare minimum introductions with people that seem like an ok fit ✌️
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Welcome. Think I see several reasons after checking out your profile. 1. It's Christmas.. It is Family time! People have preplans already and are doing their own thing. 2. Your first sentence starting off with "WE". Doesn't sound too convincing. How do you back up your opening statement? 3. You're looking for "Discreet Affairs", limits you a lot, especially that you are up against thousands of other single/married men. 4. Sending 70 messages in such a short period of time....YES, you are expecting too much. Comes across as very thirsty. 5. Are you sending generic emails and just changing their intro name, basing that on being "individual email"? Other than that, what others have stated.
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RHP User
5 years ago
70 / 5 is 14 messages per day.... Casting quite a large net don’t you think?? I’m not so sure I’d even view that many profiles per day or even in a day...seems to me like you need a hobby... But...I digress... I’ve not experienced message failures unless I was messaging a bullshit message...if it had purpose, it has usually been replied to...fuck, I’ve even had some hate mail in my time from the interactions I’ve had here.... So you’re either sending bullshit messages, you’re sending messages to bullshit profiles, or you just don’t match.... Either way, there’s no point worrying about it....unless you’re sending bullshit messages, but I don’t know how you message so I can’t really critique that, and it’s be weird as fuck if you sent me a message just to prove what your messages contain....
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RHP User
5 years ago
What everyone else has said, also please don’t send follow up ‘double messages’ to someone. Especially a couple of DAYS later. It literally never works and makes you look desperate
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2EssesExploring
5 years ago
I think your profile reflects what you’re about quite well. Being detailed and precise it will mean a lot of people won’t reply to you as you’re not what they want but being detailed about what you want means the ones that do reply will be more likely to be interested in you. What I think is the real killer here is the absolute volume of people, it’s almost too much choice so the people who would be a perfect match may bot find each other as they are being distracted by all the shiny things just over there 👉 haha For what you’re after I’d think the tinderesque swipe right or left style of site might work better using the same detail in your profile.
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countrytouch82
5 years ago
Most women are guests, therefore if people haven't responded to your messages in 7 days, they cannot (without upgrading), whether they have read them within the 7 days or not (and it becomes irrelevant how good a message you sent). If you've actually found 70 people to message, you've probably messaged pretty much every recently active RHP woman in your city. So there's not much left to do after this round of attempts, than to either: message them again (which could be quite undesirable), or wait for new members to join (and you have much less chance of response then because new members get bombarded). As for stats, speaking only for myself, I average meeting a new person, one-on-one, for a date about once every year or so across all vanilla and adult platforms and IRL attempts. So yes it's the same for everyone. So certainly don't expect miracles within your very short frame of time. Eventually connections will be made and do your best to hang on to them, as they can often last for many years if you do. The only other thing you can ask yourself is if your profile and/or your messages would appear substantially different to the other hundreds of men and their messages. In only two to three sentences that becomes really difficult.
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Happy_Man
5 years ago
First of all, thank you all for replying, and sharing your opinions. I'll try to address all you concerns. > I couldn't read past the fact you've sent SEVENTY (70) Messages in 5 days😳😳😳. Talk about scatterbombing🤯🤯 > I found sending 70 messages astounding . Maybe I’m delusional but aren’t people meant to be selective about who they reach out to ?? > I can't imagine that you have found 70 women in a week whose profiles and criteria seem to match your own to be honest. > 70, that sounds more like a denial of service attack! Maybe be a bit more selective and put more effort into fewer messages.🤷🏻♂️ Ladies, you're lucky that you don't know how the situation looks from male's point of view. When I set all filters I have in mind, only about 20 profiles are found... I was quite surprised and started research. First and foremost, MANY profiles don't contain basic info such as Location (just "Sydney" usually), Body Type, Height etc. All those profiles are not displayed when those filters set. That's why I had to relax criteria and message more people just to be able to start conversation and finally be able to clarify (and find mismatch in many cases). Some profiles are almost empty, but it doesn't mean that the person on that side of screen is not of interest to me. I need to find out by starting a conversation. Please oh please fill your profiles. Next, as a mathematician and entrepreneur I very well understand that sales is a game of numbers. Look, it is actually pretty easy: ~30% will remain unread (fake profiles, offline users etc), ~50% won't find me attractive for personal reasons. Some will be rejected by me (for the reasons above) as we chat. Actually, not many profiles left. Then have a coffee together to observe and demonstrate (voice, smile, light in eyes, smell etc). Do you see the idea? Finally, I find it unnecessary to limit life options too much. I keep my door open to give my destiny more chances to bring me someone. > Your definition of a polite message might not be the same as the recipient and they might have received ten the same that day. > And your idea of polite... well Ive had guys first messages talking about eating P***y and how big their dicks are etc, that's not everyone's idea of polite but seems perfectly acceptable to many men here. I know why you think so. Many years ago I tried to create a female profile to see what's going on on another side. It was the first time in my life I felt guilty that I'm a man :-( Utterly disgusting. Sorry ladies! :( I'm looking for an intelligent woman, and her first and final reaction to a vulgar message is "Block". This is definitely not what I want. Yes, I am really polite. > Not sure what you mean by tailored messages, if this means just changing the name for each then it doesn't show you've read their profiles. Have you read their profiles?? After this, have you indicated that you have read their profiles in your tailored messages? > Are you sending generic emails and just changing their intro name, basing that on being "individual email"? Yes, I do read all profiles .. when there is something to read which is rarely the case. That's actually a good point to indicate that I've read their profile. Yes, I do. I spent hours in searching, reading and writing. That's actually the main reason of frustration as vast majority of messages stay unread. > Also while you state you're in an open relationship you haven't included "attached" as your relationship status. Done > It would also help if you indicate matches can confirm that it's an open relationship as most profiles on here do and most people would want to contact your partner to confirm this. That's a good idea, thank you! Isn't my description becoming too long? I should've probably started shrinking it.
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RHP User
5 years ago
70 messages is certainly a lot and you also mentioned that a lot of the ones you’ve sent a msg to won’t fit your criteria unless they answer as their profiles are not filled out. So you’ve done the sales numbers scattergun approach to see what sticks. It’s probably in the 1-5% range on here. Potentially less as you are seeking someone quite specific that apparently is not meant to be too tall (as in not taller that you, more or less than 170 cm?) , fit and intelligent and should dress old fashioned style. On top you are not offering an emotional relationship, just NSA and when feelings develop, well that’s too bad. That narrows your group down further. Secondly most ethical non monogamous people will want to speak to your wife. The fact that you are comfortable with being with someone that will cheat is a turn off to ENM people, so you are contradicting yourself. Do you want a relationship that’s build on honesty and transparency or are you looking for anyone that’s happy to cheat on their partner and thus the opposite? Either way you come across as incongruent which as as ENM person with emotional intelligence is a turn off. I have no idea what you stand for. As for your specific criteria on the woman you want to have a FWB and then you mention NSA. Those are two different things. Which one is it that you want? What are you offering an intelligent woman who is likely to be inundated like so many others on here?
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RHP User
5 years ago
71 including this post
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Libertine001
5 years ago
Firstly having Hungry in your profile name may be an issue for many women to not read your message as desperation reeks and is a turn off. Paying a membership does not entitle you to anything much like a single male at a swingers club expecting sex because he paid the entry fee. So the stats of any two people meeting on here that have attraction, connection, same intentions, time to fulfill those intentions are very low.(at a guess maybe 5%) Standing out from a crowd of men who are not attached and who can spend more time with a prospective partner, aren't cheating(not saying you are) is a hurdle in itself. You have a partner and I would suggest trying to reinvigorate your relationship rather than expecting to start something new with someone off here. Go to meet and greets rather than bombarding women on here and expecting them to read and reply as you're so special compared to other men on here. No one on here has any obligation to anyone and they choose to use this site as they wish whether its just window shopping, playing with others just to affirm to themselves they can still attract others or they are here to actually meet someone. For anyone who has been on here for quite a while sending that many messages would be a yearly total and therefore just screams of desperation. Take a step back send a couple of messages per week and if your lucky enough to get a reply from that then do your best before they ghost you. Send and forget is the best advice and don't expect a response, that way if you get a response its a surprise rather than disappointment. Good luck Libertine.
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Hottieandblondie
5 years ago
Single men doesn't really have value here. Doesn't matter how good you look, what sort of a gentleman you're and how on point your profile is. Females and couples will always get so much more attention. Just try your best and don't expect much. Hope you only got 3 months subscription lol
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nightingale8
5 years ago
For some perspective, I decided to open my profile and within two days had 150 messages. And the more I tried to read the more I got (not tooting my horn I’m sure this is the norm). I thought myself diligent enough to at least open the messages but it took me at least 7 hours ha ha. Given I didn’t reply to the vast majority some might consider that rude. It doesn’t matter how enthusiastic I am, I can’t service a nation! Given up on reading messages it’s too much.
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OpalRose
5 years ago
In that same 5 days I’ve had around 40 messages from guys. And my profile clearly states I’m not looking for guys. If I was, you could double that number easily. So that’s what you’re up against. As a girl looking for girls, I reckon only 10% reply. And then it’s usually a couple messages back and forth and they drop off. And the number of fake profiles is off the charts. Three reported in the last week. I’ve been on here either with this profile or under my couples profile, for nine years. It’s always been difficult. 90% of any successful meets I/we have had were at events.
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SpicyKale
5 years ago
Not sure if I'd get too hung up on the decluttering. We tend to declutter on here ourselves.... Ignore messages, auto-reply with a no thanks and block to our hearts content. If the site was banning people for getting blocked there'd be no active guys online! We all block for different reasons, for us it's as simple as keeping our inboxes clear. There's a number of guests that have liked or favourited our profile recently that in a non covid year we would have chatted with. The only effective way we've found of remembering the ones we're interested in is to block the ones that don't match. Some might say it's a bit nastasic, but for us it's the only way of not having page upon page of potential contacts we have no interest in. Anyways that's my roundabout way of saying, worry about what you're doing because you have no way of understanding other peoples random reasonings
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RHP User
5 years ago
Dude, 70 messages in 5 days. Have you or any of the males that mass send done your maths. Say 100 guys for every girl on here and sending mass amounts of messages. Do you have any idea of how many messages the ladies are receiving. And then out of all those messages promising to satisfy them, only to be let down. It’s no bloody wonder that don’t read them or reply.
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Silverfox2020
5 years ago
Thanks everyone, this has been a really informative discussion. I think we’re all curious about the numbers it was good to read from both F & M perspectives. Good tip about ENM people confirming relationship status with my partner! Thank you. 🙏
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RHP User
5 years ago
Have you ever thought about the reason of UNREAD was because the messages were already previewed in Notification Center but ladies were not that interested?
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SpicyKale
5 years ago
Out of curiosity, how are you working out that these messages haven't been read? It's not something I've looked at in years and since there site update last year I can't see an option to see unread messages, at least not in the iOS app. I can see pretty much every other option from messages that we haven't replied to all the way to ones we haven't had a reply from five years ago, but not unopened messages. I'm sure I'm missing something, is it on the desktop version?
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sexycouple889RHP
5 years ago
When i had a single profile before meeting my wife i had sent maybe 200 messages over 4 years and i had a hit rate of maybe 1in 40. The females on here get loads of messages daliy, they have more choice than the men do. Its a simple numbers game, there are more male profiles than female profiles. They lack of reading or replying comes down to a number of reasons. 1 they have to many messages to read each day and are selective in the ones they do read. 2 they are just being rude 3 they have viewed your profile with theres as hidden, so you can not see that they have and they dont find any interest based of your photos or your about me section. That is the sad truth of it, but 70 message in a few days is kind of pushing it. Be more selective in who you message. Make sure you match what they are lookong for and if they have any hidden questions buried in there profile that tells them is you wvwn bothered to read it. Good luck in your search, though as stated its a basic numbers game with around 100+males to every 1 female. And that is if its a real female profile loads of fake accounts on here used by cam girls and scammers.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Female profiles....... or...... genuine single females Theres s rather large difference between the number of these two.
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RHP User
5 years ago
70 messages in 5 Days !! 😳
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RHP User
5 years ago
Think you on the right track of mind, as some have mentioned - by personalised messages, and more that 1-2 lines & the dreaded dick-pic which I read so much about lol. Great they mutual matches, because its arseholey to contradict. I'd say people are busy, or bombarded by messages. Additionally, watch out for those who just delete all without your standard of politeness. Keyboard/Mob Warriors🙄
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AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
Actually, they are all looking after me. By not responding after fuck loads of messages, they figure you will hit up the poor second cousins....the trans folk. We are all run off our legs so maybe they need to start opening their legs again. Thanks ladies.....
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RHP User
5 years ago
Haha, you must be new here. Hang in there man . Yes this type of site is meant to be a platform for like minded people to talk, meet and fuck. Ok so I reckon there’s probably 800 horny men, similar to zombies and they aren’t looking for brains 🧠, to every female. What is more annoying is when you can see your message has been read and there isn’t a reply. That can have a massive effect on your self esteem and worth. People should be straight up, sadly most are weak as piss ....
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Andremmo
5 years ago
And I thought the green dot was to signify 'active now' which translates as they visited a page somewhere on the site in the last hour or so.
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RHP User
5 years ago
It’s because the women in here have an overinflated ego,even the ones which would not get a date pure and simple in the normal dating world Simple supply and demand logistics
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RHP User
5 years ago
I think your bio puts me off just being honest. Feels too controlling.
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boobsandbusted
5 years ago
It’s good you put your face in your pics ,so the lady’s can work out if you appeal to them or not , I’d say without them saying anything back,right there is your answer , Mr b
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BungCpl
5 years ago
Hey Siri, show me an entitled white dude upset it’s not working out 🤷🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
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RHP User
5 years ago
Okay so this is a topic I read as a non member but really wanted to reply to. 70 messages in 5 days? Way to make a girl feel special. I get that this site is for sexually active types lol and guilty as charged here 😊 however I personally liked to be messaging/engaged with one person at a time. I was seeing a small group of guys once connections had been formed, but when looking for new play partners, focus on finding one person who you think is worth pursuing and be genuine and transparent, because I for one (and I'm guessing most women) would be turned off knowing you're throwing darts at a dartboard hoping for a bullseye. Every guy I've seen has made me feel like their complete focus. Fully aware I wasn't and that was fine, but they incested time in pursuing me which ultimately paid off. Just my opinion but are you really attracted to 70 women? Or are we okay if we're breathing?
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RHP User
5 years ago
It's mainly about the timing and yes, whether or not the profile suits and a few other factors. If a person is already messaging with one person and/or sexually active with one person, it may be that they aren't going to do that to multiple people. Women tend to be different in their approach then men. Women don't use the scattergun/cast the net approach to meet or chat to men, whereas men cast the net wide and wait to see what comes and chat to multiple women at the same time (and they say women multi-task?).
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