F51
It's all in the words!
January 30 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
At that "cough splutter cough" greeting. I have never had that said to me..plain rude! No disrespect to you, I generally avoid IM's - private chats just for that reason- you can get stuck with a turkey.I must be a hardass lol.. I find simple things such as in general chat someone saying "Hey Saturn babe how are you?" My husband doesn't call me" babe"..why should a stranger? I think that particular saying annoys me as I know close friends of ours use it to each other so I relate it to close style relationships. It has nothing to do with the fact" we" don't use it as a term of endearment just that I relate it to a close meaningful relationship. Silly I know.Its not enough to send me on a rant in chat room and I generally just say" hi" but it's gonna go downhill from there!As for salvageable in my case that point is mute.Just here for" shits and giggles"
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RHP User
15 years ago
please, first of all, I would NEVER open a conversation with someone I didn' know with a comment like that, however I have found over the years that my personal sense of humour and the way in which i speak does not translate well into text. not just on here, but other forums txt messaging etc. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there.... The Bewildered
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well... Ive taken a shine to the term slut. It simply means a promiscuous person.. and that's a fairly accurate description of someone like me. I've often been called a slut and by some of my best ever friends. Of course, it's a brazen thing to say to a person you've just met.. and I mean.. how would you know it applies... unless that person has been giving that impression in previous correspondence/discussions?It is about words because anything you say or do, even your mannerisms, reveals and communicates a little of yourself. It cannot be avoided... I mean, you can lie to try and mask your feelings but the fact that you lied and your reason for lying about a certain topic also reveals something about you.Recovering from foot in mouth..... that usually takes real work. That critical first impression problem you know. I don't have a solution when I get that wrong..... except of course to say "next". All you can do is be yourself and try to let people take you as you cum. HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
...well there's an art to the spoken word, which is probably hard enough, but expressing personality and demeanor in writing can be a lot more difficult. See I think of Stalky as a huge slut but always thought with a twinkle in my spirit at how fun and naughty he must be, there are others I might call a slut with an accusing eye. Without an "eye cam" it might be pretty hard to tell one from the other. So on forums and in chats we have to take this into account otherwise we come off worse than we deserve. Then there's some people that come off just as bad as they really are. Best thing to do is find the nice fun ones and go for a drink and gaze into their eyes :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
I mean, hey, if i was to walk up to Mrs Ruff right now, and whisper in her ear - "You're a sexy little slut!" I can guarantee two things1- i will find out weather raw steak does infact help black eyes2- Will pee blood for the next 2 days!However, if i were to whisper the EXACT same lines some 11 hours ago, (and i did ) i would be met with a very eager and affectionate Mrs Ruff!I would suggest that maybe this guys was a bit in experienced, and didn't put in the ground work first- to eager to get to the next base hehe
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RHP User
15 years ago
These will get me annoyed if they are used anyway. I object to being called things like that as well. It may be okay if someone knows me but even then it s iffy. I dont speak to people like that and I dont like being spoken to in that manner. Slut? I am neither slovenly nor promiscuous and do not like people to make such assumptions. If someone started a chat with me like that then the chat would not last long either and the block delete functions would be used. I guess it all comes back to manners. If I was in a bar and a guy came up to me with the opening line of "Hi sexy slut" I would not be impressed at all. The net requires manners as well.
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RHP User
15 years ago
From the other side of the fence, I'd never start a conversation like that. I think the first few times you chat with someone, you really need to tread carefully until you find where the boundaries lie, and even then sometimes they aren't clearly defined. It is far easier to talk to someone face to face, where you can take in not only the spoken word, but also the body language accompanying the words, which often adds meaning of its own. Having said that, I find that politeness and respect can sometimes arouse suspicion in people, as if you have a hidden agenda. My late Grandmother taught me my manners and values from a very young age (as did my parents, of course!), and I'm glad she did. They define who I am and how I treat people. I will always treat a lady like a lady.
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N4November
15 years ago
ewwww..... "NEXT!!!"
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65' At that "cough splutter cough" greeting. I have never had that said to me..plain rude! No disrespect to you, I generally avoid IM's - private chats just for that reason- you can get stuck with a turkey.I must be a hardass lol.. I find simple things such as in general chat someone saying "Hey Saturn babe how are you?" My husband doesn't call me" babe"..why should a stranger? I think that particular saying annoys me as I know close friends of ours use it to each other so I relate it to close style relationships. It has nothing to do with the fact" we" don't use it as a term of endearment just that I relate it to a close meaningful relationship. Silly I know.Its not enough to send me on a rant in chat room and I generally just say" hi" but it's gonna go downhill from there!As for salvageable in my case that point is mute.Just here for" shits and giggles"I hate it when I'm called babe, so I call (usually males) princess,...for example "hi babe" (he says)..."hi princess" (i say). Funny thing is, its usually takes some of them a while to catch on and actually ask why I'm calling them princess.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'luvitruf'I would suggest that maybe this guys was a bit in experienced, and didn't put in the ground work first- to eager to get to the next base hehe context and familiarity are very important. Ashfinder, i'd just put it down to cluelessness, or maybe even optimism... one day he might get lucky and click on a girl who likes it. I try to keep in mind that there's always SOMEONE out there who'll be into things I would sac-punch someone for (and probably also people who like being sac-punched too! *shudder*)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'KinkyBBW' Quoting 'Saturn65' At that "cough splutter cough" greeting. I have never had that said to me..plain rude! No disrespect to you, I generally avoid IM's - private chats just for that reason- you can get stuck with a turkey.I must be a hardass lol.. I find simple things such as in general chat someone saying "Hey Saturn babe how are you?" My husband doesn't call me" babe"..why should a stranger? I think that particular saying annoys me as I know close friends of ours use it to each other so I relate it to close style relationships. It has nothing to do with the fact" we" don't use it as a term of endearment just that I relate it to a close meaningful relationship. Silly I know.Its not enough to send me on a rant in chat room and I generally just say" hi" but it's gonna go downhill from there!As for salvageable in my case that point is mute.Just here for" shits and giggles"I hate it when I'm called babe, so I call (usually males) princess,...for example "hi babe" (he says)..."hi princess" (i say). Funny thing is, its usually takes some of them a while to catch on and actually ask why I'm calling them princess. I can cope with the term "babe" or "hun" .... but being called BABY really peevs me off ... . And an opening such as you received .. would instantly receive a bugger off reply .. you after one of those .. go visit the Cross ... another one is being called a whore .. its just not on ..
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't like it at all when people call me a slut...I'm a tart, and there's a big difference. | I guess if we had played all morning and she whacked me on the butt and said "Come on you sexy slut...let's go out for lunch" I could live with that. | That was definitely not an ice breaker but may have saved the Titanic. I think hanging in there for 10 minutes would have been more than enough. Agree with others...can't be bothered with the IM and scrolling chat room stuff. Don't have the time...and I can already type reasonably well. | Just call me on the phone...and happy to have you call me a tart. Unless of course you're calling to make a time to spend the morning together... | ...then you can call me any damn think you like!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I just wanted to clarify that the man I was chatting with is someone I have already met and chatted with previously, although not for very long. Certainly highlights some differences in our approaches if nothing else. l I cant really identify why the term Slut offends me the way that it does. Maybe its the implied judgement. I have the same regard for the word whore and I often feel like the people who call me babe or baby (ick) are trying to get around the fact that they've forgotten my name (not an endearing quality). I find it oddly hilarious however, that I will happily allow my good friends to call me a bitch and in fact I take pride in it sometimes, but then I know how they feel about me. l So why then should someone who barely knows me, using the term Slut, offend me at all? Its not like I've laid my heart and soul bare and had it trampled. It's simply supposed to be some fun. I consider myself to be fairly laidback and easy going. Maybe I'm fooling myself. A♥
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think, no matter how naughty or how flirty you want to chat, always start off nicely. Its more fun building the chat/flirt than just go in for a kill, and clearly , like ASHFINDER's topic said, it killed the mood. And its more interesting knowing what the other person is thinking and liek before names are used.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Would you feel different if it were a life long friend who'd greeted you that way? Point being that, in my experience anyhow, the better you know people, the easier it is to take what they say or write to you in the proper context. And that you tend to give your good friends a whole lot more leeway in how they talk to you.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ashfinder'So why then should someone who barely knows me, using the term Slut, offend me at all? Its not like I've laid my heart and soul bare and had it trampled. It's simply supposed to be some fun. I consider myself to be fairly laidback and easy going. Maybe I'm fooling myself. It could be a simple question of self-respect.. it offends your image of yourself. Around here it is fascinating to see all those dudes who have an image of themselves in mind that does not include the fact that they get turned on by other blokes... that side of their sexuality just doesn't fit within the definition of the sexuality that they have identified for themselves... so it is denied. I'm not suggesting that you are a slut... but it is fascinating that people who identify as straight secretly get off with other guys and don't like that aspect of themselves just because it doesn't fit their self image. Maybe you are a slut.. or maybe you are not... none the less... it clearly doesn't fit your self image and that is possibly why you were offended.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ruf is right, all about context but sometimes it's impossible to win. Now KinkyBBW hates guys calling her "babe"! Wow something so innocuous could cause offense? Oh I guess some guys could be condescending in its application but really? Does KinkyBBW get pissed when a woman addressed her as "babe" as well? If someone doesn't know/remember your name what should they address you as? Miss? Mrs? Love? Deary? Me thinks the Princess is calling the kettle black! Haha Saturn I didn't think you were a hard ass but I guess you are babe! Don't worry I can be a frightful Princess at times too! Love to all the babes out there (I know Stalky won't mind) Mr Princess Pup :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
...is it too difficult to ask? I forget names all the time.....even my own :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'rcflyer69'...is it too difficult to ask? I forget names all the time.....even my own :) me too, but it's not my real name anyway ;) xx sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' me too, but it's not my real name anyway ;) xx sarah Surely nobody on here uses their real name do they?HugsFred... errr... oops.
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