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M54

What's your take on "fate"?

March 31 2015

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I've never had much time for fate as an idea - just seems pointless to be living if all you're doing is acting out some predestined plan. But sometimes a coincidence happens that just seems so random plus significant that it makes you wonder about "fate". A few months ago I was at Our Secret Spot with a playmate. We got separated at one point and I ended up alone with a Eurasian girl in the small room. We had sex and then just lay together on the bed talking for over an hour. What was weird was that during the whole time we were together no one else came into the room and that's unusual for OSS. So our time together was very intimate. I got her number and for a week we exchanged texts and then she just vanished. No surprise there - what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas tends to be the way of the clubs. Fast forward a few months. I'm on Tinder just rapidly flicking through the random profiles Tinder throws at you and I see a Eurasian girl and think - "Yes please - gorgeous". But being Tinder I don't give it 2 seconds thought and move on to the next profile - it really is the most random and silly of the dating sites, but strangely addictive. Anyway a few hours later the Eurasian girl matches with me. I mean that is random enough in it's own right - I'm lucky to get a match ratio of one in a hundred profiles that I "like" and because of the way Tinder works the chance factor is almost entirely what it's about. But yes this is where the fate/coincidence thing comes in - it's the same girl I had sex with a few months earlier at OSS. And here's the twist. We don't recognise each other. So we're messaging away and we decide to phone chat so I give her my phone number. Back comes a text "Haha, you have a dark side". "Don't we all" I respond still ignorant of who she is. She responds "Ha you go to sex clubs and pick up random chicks and fuck them". "Bloody hell" I think "she said she's really good at IT, maybe she's hacked my phone". She strings it out for quite a while, telling me things that she couldn't possibly know unless I'd told her. And then she says "You been in to me already". Well English is her second language so I don't know what she means and I text back "In to you?". She replies "You fuck me already lol, OMG this is so weird - I try to forget you because I go to that club just to watch people have sex, not have it myself. And then I don't know why but I fuck you and we talk and later it freaks me out. I don't want such a close connection as happened. But now I get you here again. I go to text your phone and all these old messages come up and I think OMG it's the club guy!" So we talk and agree to meet up and last night we had our first date (and that's another forum topic in it's own right - what is it with some girls and car sex?). Not at all sure what to make of all this or her - she is even crazier than I am and that's pretty crazy. Plus there's a big age gap. But the coincidences feel too intense to ignore. So I'm buckling in for what I think is going to be quite a ride. So what's your take on "fate" - and have you had a "fate event"?

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Comments

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    11 years ago

    In fate. All my life things have happened both in fate and sixth sense. Too many to list and to show anyone. Usually they are favourable and work to the positive to enhance and favour my life. But sometimes they work in reverse. So in short i believe but its a hell of a ride. And to believe in fate and believe things were meant to happen the way they do, you need a shitload of FAITH.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    and I believe some things are lessons, some punishments and some rewards. I think you get back what you put out energy wise. I know if I am feeling down, things don't get better until I change my attitude but I also think that I need that time for reflection and growth so even though it feels like the world is against you, it is time you need to know yourself, work things out, put things in perspective.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Annie_Whichway' In fate. All my life things have happened both in fate and sixth sense. Too many to list and to show anyone. Usually they are favourable and work to the positive to enhance and favour my life. But sometimes they work in reverse. So in short i believe but its a hell of a ride. And to believe in fate and believe things were meant to happen the way they do, you need a shitload of FAITH. That's is a fantastic point Annie - the link between a sense of fate and faith - hadn't thought of it like that.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'ralf74' and I believe some things are lessons, some punishments and some rewards. I think you get back what you put out energy wise. I know if I am feeling down, things don't get better until I change my attitude but I also think that I need that time for reflection and growth so even though it feels like the world is against you, it is time you need to know yourself, work things out, put things in perspective. Now this is what I love about RHP forums at their best - responses like yours and Annie's that prompt you to think of something from a new or expanded perspective. I guess "fate" in the energy context you mentioned becomes the thing that you need to work with because you've manifested it.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    But the hard part of being fatalistic is when something "bad" happens, being able to stand back and take in, that this event has happened for a reason. I do believe everything happens for a reason and that everything begins and ends at exactly the right time and place. and people come in and out of your life to teach you something, (usually about yourself) if you are open to it. And what's that saying: To those who believe, no explanation is necessary, to those who do not believe, no explanation is possible. Ralf where have you gone ? I'm such a admirer :-(

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Come back soon and bear in mind you can ask RHP to resurrect this profile via your registered email address. . Fate... if the pull is that strong LightCatcher... :-) I'm going to add that if you were any less than who you are it couldn't have happened. . I've had a lifetime of across amazing 'coincidences' on a regualr basis. In names and numbers, meetings and timing etc. For better or worse, lol. *rolls eyes*. Some of it, I think is my good memory for making connections, others like your own seem destined.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Graphic example ahead. Is it fate... for the millions of innocent people who were murdered at the hands of Nazis in WW2? Is it fate.... that Hilter should take his nation down that path?? No.Im not a believer in fate. But I AM a believer in choice and consequence. (and your story was a bit strange lol) DG

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I certainly don't think our lives are on any predetermined, set out path. I think that humans have developed many means of trying to make some sort of sense of a world which, let's face it, a lot of the time doesn't make much sense, and the idea of fate is one of those means (same as the idea of karma). Most people have a need to try and find meaning in why things happen to them, the good and bad, and yes despite my overall disbelief in fate I do also fall into the trap of thinking that way. I think on the whole that humans are not good with the idea of randomness, that things just...happen. I do agree that we should try to learn from the experiences we have and people that come into our lives, and that our overall attitudes can indeed affect our lives, but a lot of that is actually through the way those things influence our individual perception and the lens through which we see the world (plus a healthy dose of confirmation bias which we are all very prone to). The idea that things happen to us or people appear in our lives according to some set 'plan' that the universe has just for us...no I don't buy that.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I'm pretty sure Tinder isn't completely random. I reckon there's some programming in there that will throw profiles in front of someone who's been liked by that person. It stands to reason they'd do that, it's to Tinder's advantage to get as many matches as possible.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I try to believe

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    While I do think that we may want to see that things happen for a 'reason', I believe that the only reason is for us to learn from those experiences. No more, no less. Actually, in my opinion, DG put it put it very well... choice & consequence. Much love, Elle xx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Yep I like choice and consequence too.Throw in having faith in yourself for chosing correctly or taking that leap of blinf faith,and if it ends up not the right choice, I put it down to life experience and lessons learnt.And I believe in reaping what you sow, and treating others how you would like to be treated. But I also believe in opportunities being missed because we can be too focused on what we believe we need,and only look for that, so we can miss seeing some things that are right in front of us.we look back and think damn I should have gone that way. So choice and consequence sits well with me.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Today I meet this girl while we were both waiting for a lift on the second floor of a Medical centre.. Even though we only came down 2 floors I found out why she was at the medical centre, where she was staying and when she was leaving to go back to the country ( Orange ) .. Being the gentleman , I showed her out of the lift but as she was heading for the exit door she turned back twice and smiled... It was raining cats and dogs , so we paused and continued chatting for a few minutes more... then I had to leave.. If I didn't have business commitments ' I think a coffee or drink were quite on the cards... So is that a fate meeting or coincident ? I think it was a mutual attraction....

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Mate I do fate, logic, likelihood, irrelevant and nonsense. Was yours fate? Statistically likely - yes But was it statistically likely you and her would be at OSS on that night - No - Was that coincidence or was that fate? Your match on Tinder - could be argued given prior connection without knowing each other that clearly was some chemistry thus was statistically likely you would match if on same site. Thus given the chemistry was randomly yet essentially anomouysly established was it fate that ultimately once connected you would strike a likely relationship ? No! So back to the beginning the fate came at the beginning not the end. However what happens next May indeed be fate. Good luck "fucking" finding out mate :-)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    when I was young I hitch hiked a fair bit I was in high school and my girfriend and i had got into a pub, and then decided to hitch home we lived in different directions she took the first ride, looked like a respectible business type of guyI got the second car that came , three guys a bit pissed ( what can i say I was young and not much dumber than i am now) she got raped at knife point , i got home safe. I also meet miss Peachy and we became friends after one of her pictures had something in the background, a sculpture and i told her what it was about. It related to us both , I think that picture and subsequent events has a lot to do with fate. I have had a few near misses, fate is random , not so much consequences and action and yes in history as well. but for one twist of fate, lots of people would be alive today

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Firm believer that these things happen for a reason, yes they do have a lot to do with how we project ourselves, the path we choose, how we treat people, and what we seek out.... The night my love and I met, we had been partying at a club with a group of friends, after many glances and smiles, me trying to hook him up with his housemate ( later found out she was gay lol ) , we all got separated Into different vehicles and cabs for the drive back to said house , some 8-10klms out of town, deciding after a getting back there and no Treeman to be found and bored senseless with the now growing party, I need to get home, head outside and start the trek, no knowledge of where I am, I keep walking for what feels like half n hour to decide my chances r better with a guide lol, so I start calling his name, top of my voice, middle of the night, location unknown, and who should come around the corner, under the street light and yell my name back to me...... After some awesome hot sex against someone's fence under the streetlight, many memories, a beautiful family that keeps growing and still together after 18 years.. He was my Fate, my Karma, my Destiny.... If it's meant to be, it will be...... And sometimes we need to chase what is right, so I say Go for it!! , what have you got to lose......

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You met her again because you had both made the choice of participating in life and not being bystanders. A saying I really like goes "what has any god done for you that you couldn't do for yourself ?"

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Are the two biggest excuses for doing things that you know are not rational and could lead to problems.... But for some reason you just want to try... And tindr does use personalised matching algorithms so that is definitely not totally fateful!! Xxviolet

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Yep FATE !

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Flippn heck medusa - shivers down your spine or what?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I am a Christian, and that shapes a lot of my beliefs. I believe we all have free thought and free choice - fate/luck/higher power influence/statistical odds may bring said person to be in front of us, but it's up to you whether you take a risk and say "hi", its also up to them to reciprocate. Sure there are influences in our lives as we develop that can sway us etc. but mostly it comes down to you. People that challenge usually ask me "Why bad things happen to good to people?" Whilst I don't have an answer that satisfies the most common personalities that ask it, I do have my own take on it. Either way I believe in said higher power that looks out for me like a best friend knowing all things. Like sometimes knowing I need to learn a lesson or two in life...ie it's not all roses...but loves me and values me more than anyone could...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Of course,and then there are what I call weirdings....fate is pre-destiny, belief that there is some great plan,no I do not believe in that..and I don't believe that things happen for a reason,in fact I loathe that notion,such an arrogant first world privileged take on life....stand in front of a refugee child a battered child,a starving child and I dare you to say that...Yes we make choices in life and no we can't control all the things that happen in our lives but it is how we deal with the good.the bad and the tragic that makes us human.We can choose to be a good person or not...simple. XxFreya

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    sex is a powerful connector,you shared more than just your bodies,you created a connection ..propinquity..which is in social psychology one of the main factors leading to interpersonal attraction.It refers to the physical or emotional proximity between two people...Wiki..XxFreya

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Thanks to all for your contributions. So many interesting points here that really got me thinking about "fate" in ways I wouldn't have considered. Anyway if you're interested in seeing what my "fate" fuss was about take a look at the "couple" profile we've just created. We're called ExoticSpice. Suzy has asked me to mentor her into the scene - how cool is that :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Your couples profile OP..Suzy's shots are very professional,she looks like a model..xxFreya

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Freya79' Your couples profile OP..Suzy's shots are very professional,she looks like a model..xxFreya Thanks Freya. Yes I'm a photographer amongst other things and the shots are from a photoshoot we did on Thursday. She hadn't modelled before but took to it like a complete natural from the first shot, so she is now officially a model :) Shame you can't see her face - she's very beautiful.

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