F61
Why does it hurt when that special friend find somebody else and you end up feeling worthless..
February 01 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I hear you! I lost a special friend recently. It still hurts to think about him and the great times we had together. How do we fix it???? Other than trying to find another someone special I really have no idea.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else Still waiting
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RHP User
14 years ago
It happens to the guys too. I guess one of the few consolations is that is has resulted in about 90% of art, music and literature!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hmm...This is always a difficult one, but I suppose the best thing for you, although you may not see it or want to do it, but moving on is best, for you own sake.I have recently been down this road and it sucked till I decided one day to just do things for me.You'll get through it I'm sure.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Were you friends with benefits? Just fuck buddies? Or did you have something deeper between you TWO? Not just you...but BOTH of you? Did you discuss with him where your feelings were or are you one of about 95% of people (both male and female) that play mind games? Noone is a mind reader...If you like someone you have to tell them...If you are scared of rejection...Well, at least it is best to be rejected early on in the piece than later on down the track when the feelings are deeper. If you knew it was a fuck buddy situation and nothing more, then you should have left him before the feelings got too deep! Life is too short to be pining for someone (unless of course they pass away as my partner did)...but even then you have to pick up and keep living! No use wishing for him to come back..he has left you for someone else for whatever reason...pick yourself up...look fabulous...look in the mirror and smile and like yourself...and go out and find that wonderful guy who will want YOU and want to be with YOU! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I had a fabulous FWB and she was a great fried too. Didn't realise what I had til she was gone. Life goes on and you have to enjoy what comes your way and grab it with both hands and live it to the full :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Run! Run the second you feel there might be emotion involved!!! Run while you can! Works for me
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RHP User
14 years ago
Lolz@goodie. The trick is not to ask for their contact details. Tag and release em back into the wild bebe! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Oooh I'm such a tag and release gal UF!!! Gooooo be freeeeeee young buck!!!! hehehehe Such a friend of nature am I
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RHP User
14 years ago
...for me to believe that, although it must be true because I read it on the internet? | Quoting 'goodgrlzsayplz' Oooh I'm such a tag and release gal !!! Gooooo be freeeeeee young buck!!!! hehehehe | I thought you might just mount them...and leave them hanging on the wall. | Love the Condor wings. Did it taste good too?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'goodgrlzsayplz'Run! Run the second you feel there might be emotion involved!!! Run while you can! Works for me You are only hurting yourself by sticking around once you can feel the emotion coming through! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
get a new mate... Easily done
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belladonna888
14 years ago
It isnt emotional attachment but physical. The lack of respect , honesty and the betrayal of my trust . We put ourself out there , we pay the price i guess. Why cant people be honest , the most casual encounter needs trust and respect... The words" i found some one i really like" made me feel worthless..
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RHP User
14 years ago
"I found someone I really like" sound like the words of one friend to another. You're so turning this around to the negative when the positive is, that he quite obviously sees you as a friend (with benefits). Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Naw, honey did you want more than there was? Or did you hope you were more special to him than it sounded when he said that he found someone he really likes? I'm sorry your feelings are really hurt It does sound like the addiction was not just physical. Your little heart sounds like it got involved. xx GG
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belladonna888
14 years ago
more pride then heart , its the lies i cant handle ..
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think it's fair enough to feel hurt. You're potentially going to miss out on something you have been enjoying... aka a reliable shag. The thing about fuckbuddies is that a regular fb leads to expectations. If there was no sex involved in your friendship then ask yourself if you would be as upset? Your expectations build an emotional connection. It's unavoidably human of you to be that way. Still, you should at least try and see it from his perspective. He's telling you how happy he is, finding a lover with long term prospects.... Potentially the love of his life! You should be happy for him! ( unless your expectations were that he fall in love with you). Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
The hurt pride smarts don't it? Yeouchie!!!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Men are completely different from women they can have sexual relations with just about any female, as long as she is alive and has a fanny. They then meet the one, you see we are not the one we are one of the many, that is the difference between men and women. Sure we have come a long way and we now have sex because we enjoy it, however, sadly our emotions and feelings always come into the equation even when we dont want them too. Its just the way we are, I am still learning all this stuff. I have been single for 1 year (yah) and love my life, I am still sampling whats out there and enjoying most of my encounters both the good and the bad. I still havent found a Friend with Benefits, which is all I really want, I dont want a relationship just someone to have great sex with a couple of times a week. Hopefully, I will eventually find them. Keep your chin up and move on to your next experience, life is all about living and enjoying dont sweat the small stuff its not worth it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
They are special for a reason. Everyone comes into our life for a reason.. Whether it is good or bad... Lets hope we learn from them and grow in wisdom and strength. Always remember the good times with them, and learn from the bad. xxTRIPSxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
That was too deep... sorry all
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RHP User
14 years ago
It would have hurt me too someone saying that to me. He probably didn't mean to infer he didn't like you. It's not personal, it's just everyone has their own taste in everything. Who knows what he was seeking. Could have been looking for someone like his mother! Think of it that way and have a little laugh. Loser, should have chosen you! As to missing him, im just so sad for you. Hope some good friends (and special friends) help fill up your love tank.
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RHP User
14 years ago
It would have hurt me too someone saying that to me. He probably didn't mean to infer he didn't like you. It's not personal, it's just everyone has their own taste in everything. Who knows what he was seeking. Could have been looking for someone like his mother! Think of it that way and have a little laugh. Loser, should have chosen you! As to missing him, im just so sad for you. Hope some good friends (and special friends) help fill up your love tank.
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RHP User
14 years ago
l let go off of a few fuk buddies....quite a few really i found some one very special as SLK put it. The response has been mixed from messages of "hows your new ride going" to "hello bitch x" to "i'm really happy for you"....The negative ones obviously formed an emotional attachment and because they are hurt, they want to hurt me with negative comments. They assumed our FB relationship would go on for some time and as l did. However, l met my miracle. FF....We do put ourselves out there and you say it was physical and not emotional, then how does the trust and worthlessness come into it? If you love and adore yourself then there is really no need to feel worthless. Every one is worthy.Its funny you know the ones that wanted the relationship to be purely FWB are the ones who lied to themselves. STALKY - wise words - loved every one of themOh and for the those who say "you dont find the love of your life on RHP" ................l DID.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'goodgrlzsayplz' Run! Run the second you feel there might be emotion involved!!! Run while you can! Works for me Ah, GGSP, I feel we could be amazing together, in a beautifully tragic and destructive "who cares least, wins" kind of way. First one to say "I love you" owes the other $50?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Neptune, I can't buy a decent pair of shoes for $50! gasp! Add a zero and you have yourself a deal
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'goodgrlzsayplz' Run! Run the second you feel there might be emotion involved!!! Run while you can! Works for me ^that. Also works on the other side of the coin, if you start to get that feeling they're wanting more than you're willing to offer, back away before they get too attached. Better to let go than try to continue to get NSA from someone you KNOW wants full attachment.xx Sarah
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RHP User
14 years ago
Miss the 2 FWB I had - sorry to be selfish, but they were great and unfortunately I had to move.Im sure the found someone and moved right along..It happens both ways...
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RHP User
14 years ago
I split from a 20 year marriage Nov 2010. l wasn't open to any thing more than fuking the pain away and if they got to close i fuked them off. Then l woke one day and realised l was ready for something more so opened my heart more. And there he was.............l made a choice to want more and be intouch once again with my emotions. l made the choice when i was ready as you said "has to do with timing" We all have a journey and sometimes its fuking sux arse
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RHP User
14 years ago
I believe that it is never NSA fun especially if it is over a period or occurs more than once.....I know I am probably gonna be destroyed by saying it, but lets be honest, for the majority of us we have to be attracted in some way or have that connection to sleep with someone, and since the process of sleeping with someone involves that connection you develop an unconscious want for them. Here's a question, with you NSA partners and I am talking regulars that are one on one meets, do you just sleep with them , exchange zero conversation and not cuddle them afterwards? Its very hard to be intimate without being intimate. I would really like to know what others have to say about this. I really feel for you freefallings, what is it that you miss about him?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sometimes, the hardest thing is letting go.... there is no pain like it... it is a path none of us want to travel.. But we have no choice... and maybe looking back on it all, we will thank god that we let go when we had the chance. I know love knows no boundaries, but sometimes we need to think with our head, instead of our pussy, emotions. ( im writing this because im in deep thought) xxTRIPSxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I had two special friends....I wasn't looking for anything other than a regular meet with someone I had found who fulfilled my every need and fantasy. However, after several meets, they just ignored me. Yeah, it hurt. But a good friend gave me great advice.....move on enjoy it for what it is! Thanks Jim!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I guess its because no matter how hard we try and fight it... when you have a long term sexual relationship with someone emotions and feelings are going to be brought into it...
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RHP User
14 years ago
It starts in the school yard....when any desire to be involved is rejected....doesn't matter how casual it is.I agree with inspirit, emotional timing also often plays a part. ...also something you have never experienced before can take you by surprise...onto a different journey that just seems right at the time... life keep turning....
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RHP User
14 years ago
FWB, can be a hard thing.............. not always though. I know that if an emotion starts to happen, GAME OVER. But hey when it comes to being lied to theres no fair play there, depends though on how open the relationship was. If it was a regular thing then parts of it should have been established so that if the "special person" for the other came along it wasnt unexpected, but hey if they werent honest from the start then they werent worthy.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Get over it, and move on with your life.
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montyv12
14 years ago
In the end we all take things for granted and its not till we loose them do we realise what we hadthis site is a good example of come easy go easy we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves because of the sexual connection but miss the true connection on a day to day level The partners that we meet on hear are not always honest or only forgo just the info required or asked while to pain of missing them tends to be with the person being left due to the partner always having the time to adjust before leaving in there own mind
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey all, I have a friend, that, always found herself in this very same situation. This friend was wanting a companionship that is exclusive but could never understand why she was constantly fighting the relationship as she hasn't the desire for one. My advice to you is exactly the same as it was for her. You need to sit yourself down and grab a piece of paper, or in your head, and decide what behaviors of yourself and the partner you're willing to accept for three different categories. Firstly we have the friends category. What in your mind constitutes a good friendship?? The next is at the other end of the scale of being in a relationship. Lastly is your fuck buddy. In order to sort these out, go back to basics. Friends are those you can hang out with and not have sex with. The relationship is the same as friendship but living together, or not, and fucking. The last is just sex. The "just sex category" should be just that, you call or they call, you meet, you fuck you leave. The minute these categories of behaviors become grey areas aka a mixture of friends and fucking is the time YOU need to address things and find out how the other person is viewing things. BUT, you must not skew the boundaries of what YOU will accept. And be prepared to reassert those boundaries with your partner. Otherwise you're going to hurt over and over.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi! Hun :) Sorry you feel this way.I have be in your situation we had a Connection on every level it took sometime to get past the emotions..however lookng back I realized hat it wouldn' ave worked i the Longterm smll concellation then ..i've moved onand am enoying e arms and attentions of some very goodlovers and really Nice fun Guys ... Take you time Hun... look back at what attracted you ....why he came into your Life.... look at thise reasons your emotions too...Learn the possitive lesson from the experiece then you'll be able to overcome and allow an awesome guy or Guys to come into your life and enjoy each other... Take your time check them out so once you do meet you'll be aware of what the rules are regarding your Sexual Relationship and if there's a chance to have more together... Good luck! Lu :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
as a special friend id be happy they have found someone if you were good friends, you still will be... and now time for you!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Why is it that men find it so easy to move on while we get so emotionally involved and lost in our feelings,wish we had a switch that switches off.
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RHP User
14 years ago
"Broken hearts are for assholes."Frank Zappa ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
freefallings, i know where you are coming from, it hurts and rips your heart out, but please dont let them back in cos they tell you what you want to hear cause they know you have feelings. for 7 years my fb would tell me how amazing i was and how much he cared but i was never good enough to be seen in public with, not the type of girl you would marry and he hurt me so many times and so many times i would run to him when he called, found out he was getting married last year, which i just knew in my heart he would anyway, he couldnt tell me because he didnt want to hurt me but said we would catch up again, yep, he didnt want me but he didnt want me to move on and that gave me hope. well i shut myself off from the world, and cried myself to sleep and got so depressed and kept waiting for him to realise i was the one he really wanted it never happened. When he got married i thought wtf. Why would i want to be with someone who sees me as a nothing more than a fuck. and the whole time everyone of my friends could see it except me, its taken me a long time to get over him and i still think about him but i have never felt more certain that the best thing that happened was him getting married, hope he is suffe - ring, b strong you will get over this, and its true what doesnt kill us makes us stronger (worst 12 months of my life 2011 but im determined 2012 will be sensational
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'freefallings' more pride then heart , its the lies i cant handle ..
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RHP User
14 years ago
yep 8 years of relationship as a couple and then 2 years as friends house mats and f/budies but its finally happen, she has meet someone and i donot no how i feel i miss her
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RHP User
14 years ago
yeh i just lost a friend..just walked out ..life sucks ..but its all for a reason
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