M45 F36
how do you know when you've fallen out of love
February 07 2010
Comments
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piercedfun
16 years ago
unfortunatly this is a decision only you can make but the only advice i can give is go with your heart you say do you stay with whats safe and comfortable but 2 years down the track will you you be disappointed that you stayed and think i should have left 2 years ago i always think people should give a relationship every chance as long as there is not violence involved, i say that cause i have been single a long time and am a little jealous of people in relationships and think they should not waste a good thing i will end with this is my opinion and every case has its own reasons and points i dont know what goes on in your life so please dont take my word on it but i can offer an opinion and at the end of the day you will make the right decision (oh and wasnt there a sloppy love song from the 90's listen to your heart haha)
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RHP User
16 years ago
All I can say is that over time relationships do ebb and flow like a tied. If you're feeling like it's low tide and getting lower, see what you can do to change it. Change something in your life. Chances are your lover feels the same. It's the routine becomes mundane and the people become mundane... have you ever imagined you're in one of those medieval prison cells where everyone walks in a clockwise direction in a big circle... all you can think to do is just once enjoy the freedom of going anticlockwise..... well try and escape it together is all I'm saying. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
no matter how great or loving or kind (or whatever else) your partner is, if it is not enough for you to feel that the entire package is enough for you to be happy... then you need to seriously re-evaluate. To me, one should never stay with a person JUST because of the others good qualities....to foregone your own needs and fulfilment will, over time, just make things worse. if you are having these questions and thoughts then there is something there which you need to explore, and ideally explore as a couple - you need to communicate your feelings with your partner. There is no single answer to your questions... and lots of variables which should be considered (ie how long has the relationship been, how often do these questions keep coming up, how long have you felt like this, does your partner know how you feel, do you have strong communication channels, is there a pattern etc) and I certainly wouldn't advocate leaving a relationship which is to all intents and purposes a good one, just because d the current situation isn't as exciting or fulfilling as it has been - relationships are organic...and hard at times...but i would say that if you reflect over your relationship, looking at where it has come from to where it is now and then look to whether deep down inside you believe that there is scope in the future for the relationship to be whatever it is you feel you need it to be, then you at least have your starting point. For me...i left a great person and a fundamentally great relationship after 11 years - not because of anything which was bad...but because despite great communications, common interests, deep love etc - i knew that no matter how great our relationship was, it wasn't going to be enough to give me everything i needed for the rest of my life - and therefore no matter how much easier it would have been to stay...to do so would have just perpetuated the status quo and eaten away at everything i valued in our relationship, in my wife and in me. My advice is to communicate, listen to yourself and your partner - basically do everything you can until you feel pretty sure that you have gotten to your answer...assess your options and really think about the repercussions of your actions then make a decision and if you still feel the same - then act on it no matter how hard it is. At the end of the day your happiness is just as important as your partner's. Hope this goes some way to helping and good luck! 2b :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'All I can say is that over time relationships do ebb and flow like a tied. If you're feeling like it's low tide and getting lower, see what you can do to change it. Change something in your life. Chances are your lover feels the same. It's the routine becomes mundane and the people become mundane... have you ever imagined you're in one of those medieval prison cells where everyone walks in a clockwise direction in a big circle... all you can think to do is just once enjoy the freedom of going anticlockwise..... well try and escape it together is all I'm saying. Hugs Stalky Exactly - anyone deluded enough to think that that spark will be there forever should come around and help me with my Datsuns, I need a dreamer. Ask yourself - whats' mundane now? What would you do with this 'new' partner you want to find and why not try that in your relationship now? Relationship sex is never going to be the same as 'new' sex... but it doesn't have to be boring. PS - Actually I just checked your profile, you're cute... Stalky and I are full of shit - you should disregard our advice, dump that loser and contact us.
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RHP User
16 years ago
..but I'll try and get to the point! Life is a series of experiences and the best of these are to find love, loose love and find love again. Finding love is such simple bliss. Loosing love teaches us that nothing is permanent and makes us away of just how important love is. Finding love again shows us there is always hope and that sometimes what we feel in a moment is not what we thought it was.Only advice to give is to look inside yourself and find the answer. Oh and a bit more advice (can't help myself): if you feel you need to explore life alone for a while or with other people don't fret that you will be losing "the one". If this guy is "the one" you will get back together no matter what paths you have to travel before you meet again.
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RHP User
16 years ago
...neither, listen to your gut; your instinct is never wrong :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' PS - Actually I just checked your profile, you're cute... Stalky and I are full of shit - you should disregard our advice, dump that loser and contact us. Since when did "US" not include Ridge? When did it become just you two?? We've come a long way boys! Am I not in the "triple" anymore? PS... yes you are cute cutlikeabuffalo (lol.. sounds like a Redskin name) so I think you should contact me and not those other two... plus, I'm closer ;) I can be your little slave Redskin... You can dress me up in a little loin cloth and make me a hat made from pelican feathers... Ooouuuhh... sexy! Love Ridge xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have been on the recieving end of what you are contemplating. Mine was ruthless and only listened to her head. All the mundane living got to her. What should have been a talk about finding positive changes came out as I want to break up. It was her that had issues. She put on three dress sizes and was ignoring her young daughter. Now I hope forming a list of wants in my head. Before a relationship I want to swing. Find a non smoker A woman into exercise and good food A woman who knows how to love and trust their man
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RHP User
16 years ago
You are only 20 years old,and you talk about falling out of love.Your only a baby yet.
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RHP User
16 years ago
so you are saying you dont have a spark left with this person? this is a tough one..sumtimes sparks can be lost but if there was one there from the start (and believe me that is rare these days) then I would say its just a rough patch but listen to ur heart not ur head thats my advise
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Ridge_Forester' Quoting 'Jean_Girard' PS - Actually I just checked your profile, you're cute... Stalky and I are full of shit - you should disregard our advice, dump that loser and contact us. Since when did "US" not include Ridge? When did it become just you two?? We've come a long way boys! Am I not in the "triple" anymore? PS... yes you are cute cutlikeabuffalo (lol.. sounds like a Redskin name) so I think you should contact me and not those other two... plus, I'm closer ;) I can be your little slave Redskin... You can dress me up in a little loin cloth and make me a hat made from pelican feathers... Ooouuuhh... sexy! Love Ridge xx You're totally paranoid Ridge.... you should know when I refer to US it's US - the Triple. The only person cutting you out of the triple is your own paranoia... PS - Nice return grass-cut there!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Man I knew you were good but that grass cut was brilliant. You've even made me want to see you parading around in pelican feathers... mmmm... yummy. hehe. Us is still all three of us Jeese Ridge!! She is smoking hot though isn't she. Someone should have kicked me under the table or something.. I mean there I go not once.. but twice.. trying to convince her to try harder with the other dude. What was I thinking! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
The fact that you have to ask yourself (and others) this question tell me that maybe the writing is on the wall young lady. You should not have to work at love. You work at the relationship....to make your partners' life as happy as it can be.....you you do that because you are in love with them... Remember there are many forms of love....974 to be exact. lol You may love this person but are you in love with them.....and at your tender age, despite how much life experience you have.....you may not even know what love is.....do any of us.....? I'm in my 40's now and I'm still trying to figure it all out.....one thing I DO know.....life goes fast ! If you decide not to stay with this person....then let them down with the care and consideration you would expect someone to give you....as you say, they have a good heart.....and deserve nothing less. In life when one door closes, another usually opens....so $50 in your pocket isn't much but it's a start.....use that $50 as wisely as you can...... Once you make your decision.....face into the wind and walk.....don't look back, have no regrets......walk into a new day....and fare thee well traveller... Dogism.
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RHP User
16 years ago
usually if u start asking the questions then there is a reason behind it.. u always know deep down what to do, it is whether u want it to be right or wrong which is usually what u wrestle with, and its consequences... loneliness, adventure, new beginnings.. at the end of the day if ur not the person u want to be, then ur probly not in the right situation... :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
that lasts for ever. if your feelings are waning. it was not love. probably something very nice, but not love.many people don't understand this. but it's how my heart works. other loves may come along. or will.. but for me, love is a feeling of respect and adoration that stays for life. when another love comes along, your heart will make room for that one too. assuming it's big enough.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey Little red engine I need to disagree with you... love definitely does NOT have to last forever. That is saying an emotion or feeling once inside us is always there. Emotions come and go as do feelings. I may love a man then he becomes an alcoholic and starts to hurt me, I realise he is bad for me, my feelings for him change... I no longer love him. I think you are confusing love and commitment. Just because a feeling changes doesn't mean it never existed. Many of us on rhp have LOVED our partners to later find we no longer do... often after years of trying to work things out. We may still CARE for them but we don't LOVE them. The ONLY person I truly LOVE right now is my daughter. I also LOVE my parents but that is a different type of love. It is long lasting and somewhat static. The love for my daughter keeps growing. We often say "I LOVE you" way too early in a relationship but there's no time frame on when the feeling hits. I'll step down from my soap box now.... Miss Saturn
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RHP User
16 years ago
but get an education...get off the drugs...and get it thru your head that LIFE IS HARD.You have a guy that wants to be with you...so stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...coz it aintits dead.JMO.BJxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'MissBJ'but get an education...get off the drugs...and get it thru your head that LIFE IS HARD.You have a guy that wants to be with you...so stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...coz it aintits dead.JMO.BJxxxI think what Miss BJ is saying is that you should hook up with us. (The three of us! - Man, that new chick has turned you all para Ridge!)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'MissBJ'but get an education...get off the drugs...and get it thru your head that LIFE IS HARD.You have a guy that wants to be with you...so stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...coz it aintits dead.JMO.BJxxxMay as well end it all now!
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RHP User
16 years ago
You know... I've never seen a man do the Elaine dance before! hmmm. Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Did you just post instantly? I think you did! This should be good.. hehe Stalky PS... you can do the Elaine dance if you want... but just wait until we can get a really big crowd... nad a whole lot of beer for me and Ridge.. and we're camping in the country.. like halfway between Ceduna and Perth would be a good spot to demonsatrate it to the locals... they won't believe their eyes. :p Right now I want to poke mine out with a pointy stick... but I suppose I'll recover. :P.. Good hip flexers Jeano.
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RHP User
16 years ago
... Are we still friends? I mean, she can come with us in the van if you like? Maybe we should bring Miss BJ too... Might cheer her up a little bit :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ok mate, youre still my friend :p. Missbj has real useful skills. A rare talent. I can see where you're headed there so I got no problem with MissBJ sitting next to me in the van. But there is another whose talents are yet to be disclosed. Hehe. Just how much trouble do you want to get into Ridge.... hehe. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh....Im cheery....but I do think that a dose of the Three Musketeers can only do me good.What I meant by my previous post is....so many of us on here are searching without success...yet here is a girl that has a guy that wants to be with her....and she cant decide if the loss of the "spark" is worth staying for??Why not try get it back??Give me a relationship without that spark everyday....than the nothingness I have at the moment.JMOBJxxxPS....but im at Curras....pick me up on the way...I can be the fluffer ok?? LMAO!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
used to alot of money when i was 20.steal his car, syphen a coupla tanks in your street late at night andhead down to sydney. i hear theres a caravan road trip leavin there soon.ahahahahhahahahahahahahaseriously, i fell out of love when i got home and was hit in the facewith a frypan, went to clean up and some strange dude was packing my gear.don't let it get to that darl.Earl
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RHP User
16 years ago
ever thought of moving to Qld??BJxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
but you bloked me baby so there is no point.sorry, Earl
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ah havent blocked you hunneh....ah locked mah entieh profahl.(Sorry...the southern belle just comes out when i read your name...lol.)But I've unlocked it now...And...I replied to your message of a month ago....spank me as punishment if you so desire.BJxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
aww bj u never let me spank u BJ im shattered n stuff .. ill go spank myself in the naughty corner damnit and suck my lollipops .....
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RHP User
16 years ago
if there is any doubt you should stay together......there is no doubt, you should not! get it.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'm sorry... but your bum is very cute. Do you realise just how difficult it is for me to be coherent in these conditions! Damn... and then you had to go and mention spanking. *elbow on desk. cups chin with palm of hand... stares at bum"
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RHP User
16 years ago
so no reply to the offer of being the bus' fluffer.....I guess that's a no then.Oh well....your loss....coz i fucking love it....and i go alright too so ive been told....lolHahahahahahahahahaha!!JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
that sounded a bit narcy didnt it??wasnt meant in any way but humourously...oh...BTW...did i tell you that i once sucked a guys cock for 2 and a half hours?? From soft to hard to cum to soft to hard to cum again??No??oh well....sorry.lmao!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'MissBJ'that sounded a bit narcy didnt it??wasnt meant in any way but humourously...oh...BTW...did i tell you that i once sucked a guys cock for 2 and a half hours?? From soft to hard to cum to soft to hard to cum again??No??oh well....sorry.lmao!!It's a 2.5 hour trip between Perth and Bunbury guys.... and between a thousand other places in Australia too!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
you can fluff my bus anytime.the hottest cutie on the east coastsad old WA Earl
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RHP User
16 years ago
where'd Perth to Bunbury come from?thats my territory. or is jeans mowing moving over here too?ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahEarl
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RHP User
16 years ago
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TIT
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RHP User
16 years ago
Crazy seeing this question... facing the same dilemma. Hardest part is when your partner isn't sharing the same feelings.Guess after 5 years the love I feel for her is immense. But the things that tell me I'm not IN love anymore is that:- I'd rather spend time alone and feel frustrated when you're around- When you touch me I don't feel any excitement or spark - You don't touch me right anymore- I feel suffocated rather than intoxicated- I wish you would meet someone else who will give you what you deserve- I tell you to start seeing other people and mean it- Can't wait to get away by myselfOnce it gets to this point I suppose the signs are clear enough....Be well xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
We in the ofrums often give advice out into the ether and wonder if it hits the mark, is ignored or whether it gets some kind of result..... Please Ms BUFF...give us an update on your relationship ? How did you go with only $50 in yr pocket ? Did you leave him ? Do you still love him ? What gives ? (your pics are stunning btw...what a beautiful young woman you are !) BadDog.
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RHP User
16 years ago
well this was me a couple of months ago, I was the abusive type. It has taken her to seperate form me to work out what I was doing and address the under lying issues. We have started to date again and my issues are starting to be delt with It will take alot longer (around 2 years) for me to change what was habbit but A strong willed person can do it
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RHP User
16 years ago
Miss BJ, sorry, but I don't understand the 'get an education and get off the drugs' cause I don't see her mention being on drugs or being uneducated. Earl...yep...I remember when a bus fare across town was 20c! (Damn, am I really getting that old...times have certainly changed!)
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RHP User
16 years ago
she had a good way of explaining it. It is about a look, yes a look. When ur with someone u don't like, u kinda over a period of time givem them a look, as look of disgust! When u are able to look at ur lover with disgust and distaste... the is the time to move on, cause once u have that look its all over. Just my view:) hugs Jules
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RHP User
16 years ago
Actually Jules, that's a very good way of putting it, I think. Once you reach that point there is no going back... no urge to hang on. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
a sign caught my eye"Love is the only thing money cannot buy"I read and re-read it. Money is the currency for everything you can buy sex you cannot buy love. It is worth fighting for and worth dying for. A loveless life is no life at all. So listen to your heart and let your feelings tell what is right. Only you can decide. David
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Actually Jules, that's a very good way of putting it, I think. Once you reach that point there is no going back... no urge to hang on. Hugs Stalkythats is so true [IMG]http://music-desktop.com/content/12/test.jpeg[/IMG]
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Julesjordan' she had a good way of explaining it. It is about a look, yes a look. When ur with someone u don't like, u kinda over a period of time givem them a look, as look of disgust! When u are able to look at ur lover with disgust and distaste... the is the time to move on, cause once u have that look its all over. Just my view:) hugs Jules Or when you start spitting in their food, and think about smothering them with a pillow.... or truck. Awww c'mon - I'm joking. You should know I don't cook! Sheesh....
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