New chat rooms coming soon

I tried to put this in forums but my overly verbose ramblings reached the character limit quick fast.

I’ve been wondering how to change the chat trend here of everyone only frequenting one of the 6 available chat rooms.

Here is a tongue in cheek (which cheek is up to you) poke at all of us (yes me included) in chat but I do think it’s a great starting point for making a much better chat experience. Of course attempted humour will annoy the special few and this post will be taken down quick smart but let’s see.

“Attention Seeking Whore” or if that’s too confronting maybe “Look At Moi”

Do you like telling everyone every detail of how absolutely awesome your (sex) life is, well here’s the room for you. This room is all about showing everyone how awesome you are so don’t hold back. Free RHP stickers will be earned for those that dominate chat for more than 24hrs straight. Cams are open here but do try to show yourselves in the most exotic locations to inspire the further adoration of your fan clubs. I can be especially effective here if you get your partner, friends, aunties and uncles, neighbours and anyone else you would normally talk to face to face or on the phone to instead come in here to converse instead.

“Close Up Cock’n’Vag”

This is the room for all the wankers, literally! Cams are only allowed to show genitals, any deviation above the belly button or below the butthole will earn an immediate 1 week ban. Stickers will be earned here for the absolute ferocity of the action provided, we do suggest to reduce friction burns you have a copious supply of lube handy.

“Chatter Box Cam”

This room is for the cam chatters, no nudity allowed here, it’s all about what you have to say. Here we want to see the glint in your eye as you discuss your take on all the important things you’ve learned in life. You will be given 5 minutes to attract at least 20% of the room to your cam before you are automatically crashed out of the room, RHP has been honing the crash function for years so be aware it’s brutal. You’ll earn stickers for how long you can keep your cam up above the 20%

“Brains Before Brawn”

This one is for the sapios, those rare breed that need a mind fuck before genitals will show any signs of arousal. This room is expected to be very quiet so to attract more attendees will also be doubling as gardening advice chat space as well. No stickers will be earned here as the folk here operate on a far higher plane to be tempted by such trivial rewards.

“Boobs, Butts and Body Parts”

Do you have a fave body part you want to go on and on and on about, well here’s the room for you. You are encouraged to talk about your bits and other people’s bits and if anyone distracts focus off this with any other chitter chatter they will have their profile photos changed to a big penis or vag photo for a month and be limited to the Brains before Brawn room for this time. Stickers are awarded here for consistency in not deviating from the one body part.

And last but not least we have the “It’s not squirt, it’s pee” room.

Are you as dry as Tennant Creek after a police raid?

Well here’s where you come to berate those moist ones among us that the delicious fluids emanating from their nether regions is just pee and due to their complete lack of pelvic floor muscles. If you are one of those more moist folk and you love arguing with judgemental people who have many opinions on things they have absolutely no experience with then this is the place for you. Of course this room will attract many men offering to turn the dry prunes into juicy pears with their godlike sexual prowess, these guys will earn stickers for each prune they convert.

I think this is a good starting point, what do you think? Would you change any rooms? Have I missed something? Come into chat and have your say :)